Car Bra

Well, in case you were wondering what a car bra is, here's what it means...

car bra or auto bra (noun) - a carbon-based cover that fits over the front bumper of a car, absorbing the microwaves used in police radar equipment to minimize the risk of detection for the speeding motorist.

But my story of car bra totally brings a different meaning...

Today saw me sending small-Ty's car to the service center. I was totally prepared for the trip. I braced myself with a book I just bought, assignment for tomorrow's presentation and a laptop. I was determined to wait at the center for the car to be ready and at the same time be as productive as possible.

The car was registered in for servicing at 2 p.m. and was scheduled to be completed at 4. I had a couple of hours to kill so I alternated my activities with reading the book and doing my assignment every half an hourly. At quarter to 4, the service personnel came to me in person with the car key and the receipt, an eager look on his face, telling me that the car is ready. It was a pretty strange episode if you ask me, because they would normally announce the car number over the PA system and I would have to collect the key from the counter. This was totally out-of-norm, but I was super pleased with the service, and I am no bitch to complain about good service. So, I just took the key, said the sweetest thank you and collected small-Ty's car.

Less than 20 minutes later, I pulled up in front of the house and began to collect my personal effects from the front passenger's seat. Just to make sure I did not miss anything, I decided to check the back seat as well. But the instance I turned my head back to look at the rear seat, I can't help laughing my head off. And suddenly, it all seems clear to me why the service personnel were being unusually nice. There on the rear seat of the car were a crumpled T-shirt, a pair of rolled-up, super skimpy cycling short and a pair of brassiere! Ooh-la-la! This, was the main reason, and it was green! And that green thing just made me a victim of circumstances. Tsk, tsk!

In case you were wondering to whom those things belongs to, they were definitely not mine. And if this is so, and the car I sent for servicing belongs to small-Ty, I shall leave y'all to do the math. The only thing I know is that I am never going back to that service center. Period.

Even if it was partly my fault for not checking the backseats before registering the car for the service job.

Fragili-Ty

I am typing away in the dark, on the bed, next to the already sleeping small-Ty. I am trying my best to not make any noise by hitting the keyboard really slowly and lightly.

I need a hug. Like really, desperately need one good bear-like hug.

Hmm... Let me think about that again. Well, no. Allow me to rephrase that. I don't need a hug. Instead, I think I need hundreds of hugs.

I have to say that I haven't been getting enough TLC lately. And this makes me cranky. I am super-sensitive, ready to burst into tears each time I feel like I'm being neglected. Oh, I am such a cry-baby!

This weekend will generally be the family weekend. Mainly because Monday is a public holiday. And although little Tacetta, Saty and Zamri will be going back east, I will still have small Ty, Mak and Papa. It'll be a busy weekend, with no time for TLC soliciting.

I should have an issue to talk about right now, but my fragility is preventing me from doing so. Thus, I shall stop here.

I won't be getting any hugs, therefore I shall sleep.

So good night.

And byesh!

Dragonfly In My Dream

I woke up from my not-too-often afternoon nap feeling groggy. The room felt warm and I realized that it was showering outside. I took the opprtunity to watched the rain fall from the teeny weeny balcony of the apartment. I felt good almost instantenously.

Honestly, I am not a difficult person. I can be happy with little stuffs which are neither expensive nor hard to find.

I don't need too much money to make me happy. Just enough would be just fine.

I love watching the rain and especially when the raindrops hit the hard ground. I think they look like white butterflies. Doesn't make any sense to you? I'll show you what I mean the next time you and I happen to be together when it rains.

I dig staying alone at home. I enjoy the absolute peace I have with myself.

I could stare at plants and trees swaying in the wind for hours and feel very much contented with the scene.

I find that watching the cows in the field at anytime of the day is very calming.

I can sit only with a cup of tea or coffee alone in a cafe watching people passing by. Or I can enjoy the company of one or a few good friends and talk about nothingness that means everything to us.

I'll be happy to receive one sincere good morning from the people I care about. And I'll be crazy happy if they care to show appreciation through little gestures like stroking my hair, walking side by side and telling me how great I look even if I look like shit.

I love bookstores. I love the heavenly smell of new books.

I love water fountains for the splashing sound they made.

I love the family, the 'girls', Scrabble, Lisa, the beach, the sand, the sun, the mountains, Turkish coffee, Lego, the smell of home, the 'khobideh'.

And dragonflies. They make me happy.

:)

Doppelganger

Sabrina is so going to kill me. Here I am, blogging away when I am only two paragraphs into the proposal. I begged for your forgiveness, lady! But I can't endure this longing for scribbling some BS...

My person now have a doppelganger. Someone who pretends to be her online when it is actually not her. It's silly and funny. And also scary. 

When it comes to matter of the heart, some people just can't let go. Some people find it difficult to move on. And there are few who wants to move on but can't move on.

In order to be able to move on, one must learn to accept. And one must also learn to forget.

The question is, how do we forget? If we could learn, why can't we unlearn? There is no guided way to erase memories nor is there an instruction manual to delete sorrowful feelings. The only best way is perhaps, to fill up our time and make ourselves busy, so that our thoughts won't run wild and flock back on the sad, sad history.

I've seen friends during trying times. I myself have had my own share of taxing moments too. And because of that, I have somehow developed my own procedure to aid me when love is lost, when passion turns to abomination and when devotion had been betrayed.

Here's how I deal with it...

1. Cry like hell. Cry like there is no tomorrow. Cry for seven days and seven nights until you could cry no more.

Once you are done crying, (believe me, there will be a point when you can't cry anymore, when you will finally get tired of crying...providing you really did step  #1 well), this is the time to get up and get on with life. This is when you start doing these...

2. Pay more attention to yourself. Groom yourself more, and groom better than you have ever done before. Not for the fact that you are re-entering the dating market or to gain back the attention and affection of the lost party, but for the fact that you love yourself. And after all that has happened, you deserve to be loved and the only person who can love you best is you.

So go ahead and wear those nice clothes you have bought but never worn before just because the other party thinks you look fat in it. Put on that make-up and look awesome instead of adopting that au naturel look. Remember that you are not Kate Beckinsale or Jessica Biel. But don't overdo it either. Learn from Salma Hayek. She said, "It actually takes me a lot of make-up in order to make me look like someone who doesn't wear make up."

3. Keep busy. If you are not working, get a job. Any job. As long as you have something else to focus on instead of your sorrows. Go out with friends. No friends? Then it is time to find some. Get back in touch with long lost mates and buddies. Too ashamed to meet them? Well, don't be. Misfortunes happen to everyone. And you should talk about it with pride and stop being pitiful about yourself. The pitiful part is over after you decided to stop crying.

4. Start going out with the opposite sex. And don't get me wrong. This doesn't mean that you should be romantically or intimately involve immediately. So relax, chill and do go out for movies, for lunch/dinner dates. Do not rush into another relationship. And do not be too stubborn and picky over the smallest thing at this stage too either. Just go out with anyone. He/She may not be the perfect one, but that's the point. You simply have to put up with one or two caterpillars before you can finally see the butterfly, right?

5. Get a hobby. Don't sit around and do nothing. Build your life. Make yourself interesting.

6. Cut ties with the party who broke your heart if it's too hard for you to handle. Throw away everything that reminds you of him/her. If you are too sentimental to throw them away, stash them up in a place where you can't see them. Stop trying to find out what's going on with the other person's life. Be realistic. Do not add salt to your wound. Also, maybe, you should stop seeing his/her friends because you will likely start talking and start asking about him/her. Which you shouldn't. You want to forget, remember? But if you are sturdy enough to NOT ask or talk about the person, then hanging out with his/her friends will still be alright. Providing they (the friends) do not bring up that topic either.

7. Never give a shit about what other people say or think about you. You are the one going through hell, and not them. Ignore critics and words that will make you feel less as a person. Only take in the good things and rational opinions.

Points simplified; be strong, be interesting and keep on charging forward with optimism. Don't let the past haunts your future. Stop nagging, stop sighing. There is more to life than just grieving.

Time to shower. And wear the feather boa.

Idiot's Guide to Being Courteous

As strange as it should be, I am right now in the university's library. This is probably my third time being here within the duration of one and a half years of my study period in this stodgy-hole. Earlier, I planned to sit here and start writing the research proposal for my Research Methodology subject. But plans would remain as plans if one does not put them into execution. And right now, I am typing away some futile notes to fill up my precious time.

Emily Post said that manners are sensitive awareness of the feelings of others. If you have that awareness, you have good manners, no matter which fork you use.

I figured there are few basic deportment to being courteous...

• If you are asking someone for a favor, you don't have the right to be demanding. Accept what is offered and never boss the person whom you're asking the favor from.
• Do not use one person (or many) to help another person that you would like or obliged to help.
• Nothing in this world comes in for free. So always double check with the person you are asking for help if it is okay and if you can do anything to help ease the burden or repay his/her kindness. Chances are, the person would say..'Oh it's okay, really, I am willing to just help...', but still, never forget to perform this check. Show care to the person who has agreed to help you.
• You cannot hate or accuse someone for being selfish just because he/she can't help you once out of one hundred times.
• If a person has helped you for too many times for nothing else in return, do not take her/him for granted. You can't ask for too much kindness from one person if you are being so insensitive and oblivious.

Common sense, yes? But sadly, not every human being is born with built-in politeness and good manners in them. Heartbreaking is when some are born with good-looks, but very little decorum. And it is even more tragic to have a not-so-good-looking person to behave in a really bad manner. Tsk, tsk..!

I am not a perfect being. But I try my best to treat everyone with politeness. Even to those who are rude to me - not because they are nice, but because I'm nice. Heheh.. After all, the test of good manners is to be patient with bad ones. Phew...! I don't know how long my patience could last.

Done.

The Bell's Curve

Cough. Flu. It has been ages since I last got them. And now that I am down with them again, I simply forgot how to deal with these two rascals.

I am reading Paulo Coelho's Veronika Decides to Die and is loving every word of it. This one's better. And Brida isn't that interesting anymore.

I am having the urge to talk about taboo stuffs. But being taboo, I obviously shouldn't talk nor write about them. At least not on a public blog or on notes application on Facebook where every Tom, Dick and Harry AND every Susan, Jane and Mary were able to read my forbidden thoughts. Because if I did, far too many people will start judging me. I do not want to be put on trial. Therefore, I shall shut up.

I was trying to figure out where I fit in among the population of ordinary people. They who have conventional thoughts and not some absurd ideas. They who think and operate to conform to society's demand and expectation. And even if conforming doesn't make them happy, they make themselves believe that they are happy. My illustration of where I am in the Bell's curve below...


Hmm...

I have a feeling that I am conjuring up a mess. I'll stop now before it gets worse. Need to go read some academical resources in order to dismiss Coelho's influence in my head and join that 68% majority of the population. Yawn! How boring...

The Dog-Theory

It's a slow and quiet weekend. Sarah is taking her usual late afternoon nap. And here I am, wasting the hour before the Feather Boas meet up again later this evening.

I talked to Ida for long hours last Thursday and was mesmerized by some dog-theory.

Ida said....: A dog will stay obedient to his owner despite his ill treatment because they think that that's the only owner that he has. But we are human, and we are the owner of ourselves.
A kid will stay with his parents even if his parents abuse him because that is the only parents he knows and we dont have the liberty of choosing our parents, but we do have the liberty to choose our partner, our life and our path.

And today, I am strucked by the idea of wanting to be a child once more. Generally because skinned knees are easier to fix than broken hearts.

It's raining outside now and Sarah will sleep longer than she promised me. So I'm gonna make her take her ass out of the couch. Right now!

Last Chance for Miss Cockroach

The new semester has begun. And it'll be my last one. Hopefully. If the school does its job proper and work on offering the two extra subjects that I need. Or else I'll be doomed with just two subjects instead of four. Doomed because this means that I will have to take the other two subjects in the next semester, thus delaying my graduation and, more money thrown in the direction of the school too (exactly what I thought the school has in their agenda - to maximize their revenue from the students. Ah, these motherfuckers..!).

It is not easy to find someone with a totally open-mind. Sarah and I agreed on this one fortnight ago.

How can we truly define 'open-mind'?

Last two weeks, over our breakfast/brunch chat at home, we found that most people misunderstood the definition. In general, most people think that one who indulges in smoking, drinking, gambling and other worldly 'fun' activities is one with an open-mind. Consider this statement from someone I know..

"..I am sure she is an open-minded person, considering that she smokes and have fun drinking in clubs..."

This is indeed, one very shallow judgment.

Having an open-mind should be about having the ability and capacity to accept others in every single way. It is about the ability to listen to the opinions of others and even if their notions differ from ours, we are still able to live with it and wont hate the person for who he is and what his gray matter is made of.

Being open-minded should be about celebrating differences. And even if you are different from us, we love you nevertheless.

Alright now. My lentil seeds have finally arrived. Pearl bought them from a Marks & Spencer store in Aberdeen and I am thinking, how weird...

A Jar With A Door

Am babysitting the house and the Papa while the rest of the family had a short, 3-day trip to Genting. Saty just had to find reasons to buy Qaseh few pieces of sweaters.

Pearl just came back from Kerteh and will be leaving for Aberdeen this Sunday. And, talking about that, I was suppose to bring back some winter clothing for her...which I forgot. Tsk!

Generally, people are nicer when they are on holidays. If you meet a guy or anyone during their holidays, you can expect him/her to be the perfect being. They are a lot cooler, good-tempered, jovial, funny and stress-free. Not to mention that they will be a lot more romantic too.

I miss that sweet, perfect being.

Other than that, I have nothing more to say...Or maybe I have more to say but just chose not to.

Time for a quick nap now before the evening commence. Will meet Sarah in Desa View tonight (excited!). School will start again next week and I am determined to be more organized this final semester. I refuse to be labeled 'unorganized' by some people!

P/s: Obama won the US presidential election and Kenya declared two days of public holiday. Just the reaction I would expect by Malaysia too if Obama was half, or quarter, or even one tenth Malaysian. No kidding! We Malaysians are generous enough to even give the Datukship title to Shah Rukh Khan.

The Private Investigator

Not too long ago I was lulled to sleep by little Tacetta singing Twinkle Twinkle Little Star.. and recently the nursery rhyme has been upgraded to the song L-O-V-E (by Nat King Cole). I adore it when she sang that line, '..V is very very, extraordinary..' - the way she says the word 'extraordinary' really makes me go pulpy.

The exam week is finally over! There is no other moment as serene as how I am feeling right now. I feel like I could sleep for one whole week non-stop. But before I do that, let me tire you a little bit more with today's anecdotes.

The family went to Bagan Lalang for some seafood earlier in the evening. We took the chance to walk by the beach and watch the sunset. Little Tacetta was too skeptical of the beach sand and was walking too cautious when the looney mom poured a handful of sand on her tiny feet. I laughed and felt sorry at the same time for little Tacetta because she stood there, glued to the spot, wailing at the mommy to remove the sand from her feet. Honestly, I have never seen such a fussy little girl in my whole life..

She refused to get her feet wet.
She wouldn't walk on the beach barefooted.
She always remind everyone that she is the baby.
She eats food cooked from a crockpot.
She loves to disagree.
She asked way too many whats, hows and whys.
And she adores the mirror.

But I love her.

P/s: I just wrote a short module on time value of money and personal cash flow this morning for my dad. Can you believe it? Just when I thought I have gotten over all financial subjects...

Raiding the Emergency Room

It's amazing how the yearning for writing notes during exam week could raid my supposedly panic-stricken state of mind. I am sitting for the last paper for this semester tomorrow at noon, but already I am seeing paradise.

By the way, I screwed today's paper. And screwed the one before that too. I hope I won't be screwing tomorrow's, but I have a feeling that once I screwed, I will always screw. Tsk, tsk..!

Ok. So let's say you cheat.

In an exam. 

Would you admit the fact that you cheated, to your friends? Or would you just keep quiet and pretended to everyone that you are a person of high morale, and with undoubtedly good brains too?

Which one is more detestable? To cheat and owning up to it? To cheat and putting up a front? Or just the plain fact that you cheated in the first place?

Here's my conclusion...

Cheating is inexorable. Sometimes, it is even predestined. Sarah is so going to disagree on this. But people cheat because they have to. They cheat because they are desperate.

To cheat and proudly admitting is audacity. It may be idiotic at times, or even, for most of the time. Nevertheless, it is still something very courageous and gutsy to be able to concede to your deceitful behaviour.

But to cheat and pretend that you are a saint is downright hypocrisy. Especially when you overdo the saintly part. Unquestionably 'keji', I call it.

Well, then...

Another seating for tomorrow.

Will party for profit during the weekend.

And NO more raiding of the emergency room (at least for another month).

The Two Tys

I know! I should be studying...! But the temptation...

Let's take a moment for these two Tys. Tyrese Gibson or Tyson Beckford? Tyrese or Tyson?

Girls..(Sarah and Mareena), I know we've been fighting over Tyrese all these while. And I've decided now to let go of Tyrese and opt for Tyson. Hahaha! So you two can continue brawling over Tyrese. Tyson's waaaayyyyyyy, hotter! L.O.L!

And everyone else, who do you choose?

Tyrese Gibson

Or....

Tyson Beckford

Or...

Ty!

Hahahahaha...! Owh... This is a totally pointless entry...

And Then One Night, The Bed Broke...

Hello. Financial Management exam is over today. Allow me to exhale. Thank you.

One down. Two more to go.

I have so much to say but too little time. I came across some old emails and found something so meaningful, I indubitably think that I should put it up here for everyone to read...

So here's my own adapted version of the e-mail, sent by a friend, some 4 years back.

Every person will need to find three people in their life...: the person you love most, the person who loves you most and the one you spend the rest of your life with. But alas! In reality, these three people are usually not the same person.

The one you love most doesn't love you. The one who love you most is never the one you love most. And the one you spend your life with, is never the one you love most or the one who love you most. He/She is just the person who happens to be at the right place at the right time.

The three people. Have you found them all?

Oh, well. Back to editing report now.

NasTy

Okay. Time to bore you people with another emotional entry.

I have just sewn up some massive amount of assignments today. I stayed in the whole day today and I swear, there has never been a day in my life that has been this much peaceful. I was completely alone, indulging in my own state of solitary. Ah..., sheer bliss.

I am wrestling with time right now. My hands are full with endless school task plus the upcoming exams. And don't even make me start about my pesky life issues. School is too strenuous these days and it will be more so this coming fortnight. It is only necessary for me to leave everything else behind and concentrate on the academics. No matter how other things are so bothering me right now.

Well, let's get to the boring part.

I am a horrible, horrible person. And this is why I said so...

I am a user. I use people. I take people's life and money and ran away with it.

I don't know how to love and often I hurt the people who deserve love.

I am selfish and I always put myself first on top of others. It is always about me and never about you.

I am ungrateful and unappreciative. You can give me this and that, and I am still the spoiled hellcat who won't see the sacrifices others have made.

I am lazy and indecisive.

I don't do sacrifice. I don't give. I only receive.

I am rude. I say mean things to people.

Like my niece, I have anger management issues.

I always look for faults in others and never at my own.

I don't handle criticism and rejection very well.

I am not compassionate.

I am all that. Really.

It's Not Right, But It's Okay..

If I happened to be happy, I must have done something evil.

My different opinion makes me a defiant person. And because of that, I shouldn't be heard.

I am considered as rude, though I hardly say insulting remarks.

I speak English with Malay accent because I don't see why I should fake an accent when I am not a native speaker.

And according to Tengku Akbar, my English is not up to standard.

Oops, I talked too much. It's time to shut up.

P/s: I love my Malaysian accent 'lah'...!

Sad-a-Day

It rained when I woke up this morning. And I woke up to a combo of splitting headache and a hungry tummy. Right now I am in dire need of tender, loving care. I need one very high dosage of those three.

Last night I had a dream. I dreamt of Sarah, Mareena, Tyiara, Sarah's sister (Mas) and a strong, young man.

I was dead sick in the dream. And the strong, young chap carried me in his arms while the rest of the ladies were tending to semi-conscious me.

Right. My grey matter isn't working too efficient this morning. Fingers are moving at sloth speed. And I look like hell.

Gosh, I am so hungry I think I might as well eat a horse. Let's go see what is there to eat. Hope Sunday will be as sunny as it should be.

Bourbon Balls, Scotch Balls

Pearl made some bourbon balls and I have been popping them balls into my mouth non-stop. I am suffering from heavy-eyelids syndrome right now because I had very little sleep last night and as tasty as the bourbon balls are, they are not helping me to stay awake at all.

Indecisiveness is a real nuisance. The fear of making the wrong decision will make it even harder for that judgment call to be made. Often we would weigh and continue weighing our choices time and time again. And the more we allow ourselves to ponder upon it, the more we are bewildered by the possibility of each outcome.

This is nothing new. But how would you feel if your decision shows how selfish you are? Will you feel bad for the rest of your life? Would you regret? Or would you think it is just passable for you to think that only yourself matters in making any decisions? After all, you are dealing with your own happiness.

All I can say right now is that if you hurt others, there will be time when others will hurt you back. People generally pay for what they do, and still more, for what they have allowed themselves to become. And they pay for it simply. That is by the lives they lead.

Maybe Pearl should make some scotch balls after this...

Stupefied Thirst-day

I should be writing something witty right now but Pearl is stuffing me with loads and loads of video clips from her Macbook. And Saty is busy feeding the little tyke while bitching here and there about this and that. All these are making it harder for me to concentrate.

Another procrastinating session is taking place at this moment, when I am suppose to be doing something academic and I am not.

I hate liking something or someone who are overly popular. Like if every common people is crazy about a person, I will almost certain make it a point that I wouldn't like that personage. I detest being typical. Yes, I know...I sound like a stuck-up bitch. And maybe I am that. But I am also pretty sure that there are some others, if not many, who are just like me.

I am craving for freedom from mayhem.

I thirst for simplicity to dispatch the fly in my ointment.

I hanker after quality times with my wonderful humans.

I am pining for someone to scratch this itchy sentiment.

And I so hate unnecessary conversation.

Oh, this is definitely going nowhere. I'd better leave. Plus, the house is expecting some company for lunch. Got to go get ready.

Toodle-oo!

Compadre Vol. 1

I am returning this deed to Marcus, who did this 'Malay of the Week' interview on me last month for his blog (http://laughandahalf.blogg.se/2008/august/veckans-malaj-1.html#comment). So this one's for you, dawg!

What’s your full name?

Marcus Johan Harald Gamme

Where are you from and what’s your race? – a racist question…hahahah!

I´m from Sweden, and I guess my race is Caucasian then..

The thing/s you like most about Malaysia?

Eveything is cheap compared to home (but I still manage to spend more than I should haha) and of course the beautiful sites. And my lovely friends…

The thing/s that irritate you most about Malaysia?

Restrictions, I guess most from religion... Like not being allowed to wear whatever I want, whenever I want and so... and it´s not that great listening to prayers five times a day, but I try to get used to it☺! (Ty says: This is because you spent too much time in UKM..)

What’s your favorite Malaysian food?

I´m not really sure what is Malaysian or not, but the things I enjoy eating at the Kolej café is Noodle Pataya, Nasi Goreng Seafood, Nasi Goreng Ayam and Nasi Ayam.. Nasi Lemak is too spicy for a Swede, I´m sorry guys…

What musical instrument/s do you play?

Guitar, Clarinette, Drums (n´ other instruments needed to record a pop song)

What’s your opinion on long-distance relationship?

They suck! But I´m used to them..

If you were given a chance to be someone else for a day, who would you be?

Cool question! I would be Angus Young (lead guitarist) of AC/DC, I´ve always dreamt about playing guitar in front of a huge arena-crowd.

What’s your biggest fear?

To hurt people I love. (Ty says: And not bugs?)

Three words that best describe you.

Hardworking, curious, outgoing

Describe yourself when you are tipsy or drunk.

Hmm.. I don´t think I´m that different, except maybe my eyes tend to close up just a little bit.. (Ty says: I think I can add a few more on this..)

If you have to choose between money and brain, which one would it be?

BRAIN! Brain will get you money.

Delayed Annuity

I'm having the urge to write crap again. But this Financial Management quiz which will be occurring 6 hours from now is pulling me back. And I don't know shit about it. The fact that I am having a lecturer who is also the dean of the faculty doesn't help at all. Bugger can't manage. Can't teach. And speaks Kelantanese English.

Ok I'd better stop before some smug peeps start telling me that I should stop bitching because it's Ramadan.

Premiär för "Veckans malaj" by Marcus Gamme

This post was written by Marcus, one of my course mate in UKM for his blog page. It was a terrific idea and because this first premier of his brainchild featured me in it, I am now reposting it over here. And 'Veckans malaj' means 'Malay of the week' or something like it. Right, Marcus?

Hej kära läsare! Så har det alltså äntligen blivit dags, idag kickar jag igång projektet "Veckans malaj" som i intervjuform presenterar olika personer jag lärt känna under min tid här. Först ut är en kursare, som jag läser alla mina tre MBA-kurser och umgås mycket med. Jag kommer att presentera de skriftliga intervjuerna i sin helhet, på engelska, precis som frågorna besvarats. Frågorna jag ställer kommer förmodligen att variera en liten aning från person till person.. Ok, då kör vi!


Name: Tyiana Rosli

Born: and bred in Kuala Lumpur

Occupation: umm... full time procrastinator?

Are you actually even Malay? If not where are you from?
My mom is Chinese but my dad is a Malay, so I guess it makes me a Malay then. And I don´t care what my grandparents are. I am totally disgusted with Malays who likes to pull various blood mix like "ooh, my great, great, great grandparents were Irish, so I am in some way Irish too..." - oh god please... (roll eyes)

Best about Malaysia?
It is home. That´s the best thing about it. And the variety of bizarre street food I can get here.

Negative about Malaysia?
Weather is too hot!!Can you name a Swedish celebrity?
Umm again.... Marcus Gamme?

What else do you know about Sweden?
Meatballs, Volvo, IKEA, Absolut and oh, The Ice-hotel!

Favorite word(s) in Bahasa Melayu (malaysiska)?
Alamak = something like oh-my-god, but since mak is malay for mom, this is more like oh-my-mom haha...Terima Kasih = Thank you, and is pronounced as te-ree-ma-ka-seeh and ABSOLUTELY not as MAKASIAAAAAH (jag och Peyman, som är från Iran, tycker dock att det låter så, vilket vi börjat härma både ofta, glatt och högljutt till Ty´s stora irritation).

Most important place to visit during a stay in Malaysia?
Langkawi, Langkawi, Langkawi!!

Why did you choose to study at UKM?
I didn´t choose UKM. UKM chose me. Hahahah...! Honestly, I don´t really know why. It´s probably proximity infatuation...

Best club in KL?
Owh... This is difficult. It depends on what one wants. Anyplace can be a great place if you are with the right company. No?

Higlight your selection:

1. Rice vs potatoes - potatoes
2. Red wine vs white wine - white wine
3. KL vs Bangkok - KL
4. Obama vs McCain - Obama
5. Proton vs BMW - BMW
6. Langkawi vs Redang - Langkawi
7. Heineken vs Carlsberg - Heineken
8. Jude Law vs Johnny Depp - Jude Law

-Copyright M. Gamme

Ty and Again

I attended Operations Management lecture this morning and left for home half way through. I have an appointment with Un and Sterling today at noon and maybe after that, will go scout for some potential sushi meal.

There is a big difference between lying and not telling. When you don't tell, you aren't lying. And back to my 'honesty isn't necessarily the best policy' theory, I'd like to say that sometimes, 'not telling' could be the best policy.

I was recently fascinated by a line quoted by Dr. Zac over coffee. He said, 

"I can never say that I am honest but I can sure say that I am sincere."

It makes perfect sense to me.

I am no seeker for heartache. I'll be perfectly alright facing a lie as long as I don't know that it's a lie. And I don't probe around just to prove that someone is telling the truth or if someone is telling a lie. What I'm saying is that, if you're a good liar, and that by far you are doing a great job, and it somehow makes me a happier person, please keep up the awesome job and do not stop lying.

I remembered an incident one of my sisters went through with my dad. Back then, he didn't know that her daughters smoke and my sister was caught having a pack of cigarette in her bag. My dad was semi-furious, I would say, and believe me, semi-furious is grim enough. But my sister, calmly said...,

"Why were you even ransacking and snooping into my bag in the first place, Papa? If you didn't do that, you won't find the cigarette, and you won't even be angry, because then you won't have to learn the fact that I smoke."

Again, this makes perfect sense to me.

Why do we keep looking for deceitful matters? Why are we constantly thinking that the people around us are lying to us and that we are on a mission of trying to prove that these people are liars? What would we get out of that? Would we be happy? Would we get ultimate contentment for being a triumphant detective in convicting people who lie? I would say not. Instead, what we would get is just hurt and pain, a scarred self-esteem and one significant dosage of crying spell. This is definitely not what I want.

Therefore, I am taking the path where I would rather not be in the know. It is better that way. If it is detrimental to me, then don't tell. Lie if you must. Just don't hurt me because I won't hurt myself either. And be rest assured that I am not some featherbrained chick who would go through people's stuffs just to discover something I shouldn't know. Especially not if the discovery would be affecting me in a devastating manner.

The moral of the story is, if you need to lie, make sure you do a well done job in keeping it odorless. Also, please remember that what you don't know can't hurt you. So don't go sniffing around and look for trouble. The lesser you know, the better off you will be.

Lick and Promise

I am tagging and untagging photos on Facebook while waiting for Mareena to come over. It's the eve of Merdeka and we've decided not to go anywhere because of a few coherent reasons..

1. There will definitely be bad-ass traffic out there tonight.

2. The idea of celebrating independence with massive crowd, pressing onto one another is no longer appealing and so un-independent like.

3. Un will be working the morning tomorrow, so he needs more than just forty winks in order to be able to survive the flight.

Thus, Mareena and I have decided to capture the night by my poolside, silently, with Manzanita and Baileys as our auxiliary companion. That should be adequate.

A note about yesterday evening:

I went to watch the MPO perform with some friends from school. It was a short, 78 minutes piece without interval titled 'My Homeland' by Smetana. I realized, after the concert that I did not yawn, not even once, during the performance. My conclusion, I miss the MPO and the DFP really badly.

The tipsy gypsy is here.

Lady Godiva

I am sitting in Starbucks Sunway Pyramid waiting for Lisa to be done with her servicing. And in case you are wondering who Lisa is, Lisa is my car. But she's not just a car, she is also my best friend for the last 5 years. Lisa is always there for me. And Lisa is the one who sees me through my ups and downs. Lisa saw me laugh, saw me going crazy, saw me going tipsy and Lisa saw me cry. I love Lisa.

Now besides waiting for Lisa, I am trying my best to kick myself in the butt to get started with my little assignment on Godiva. However, that is not going to happen in this few couple of hours.I am moving at snail's speed on all my assignments which is awfully unacceptable. I am also waiting for my Little Miss Grumpy to come by. Wonder where she is right now...

Lately, I have been told that I am not good enough for anyone. I am not smart enough, not pretty enough, not kind enough, not caring enough and not sensitive enough. I am not too sure that I am really all that, but probably, I am all that. Especially the insensitive part.

It is very perturbing because all I want to do is to make people happy. Well at least, to make one person happy. But I seemed to have fail at it miserably.

Apart from that, I am also perplexed by my own complexity of always wanting things that is out of my reach. I want things that I know I could not and could never get. And that, in one way or another, turned me into a woman of greed. To some. Sigh... I am nowhere close to Lady Godiva.

Oh! Little Miss Grumpy is here. Got to sign off now else she'll become Little Miss Grumpier...

Ty Me Down

Good morning, darlings! I woke up at 8 this morning. Slept my night away like a log because I only had 3 hours of sleep the night before.

Yesterday I met up with Mareena for a few cups of Turkish coffee in Cyberjaya. I missed that girl. Not that I don't see her often but because every time I meet up with her, either one of us will have another company tagging along. And that will be me for more than half the time. So yesterday, our chewing the fat session was due... and as we sipped on our coffees, we  prattled of some issues...

#1. Women who stop primping themselves up after they get into a relationship.

And then they would go berserk if the partner once blink an eye at another hot chica. Being in a relationship does not mean you can relax and settle down. It should make you work even harder. Just like my teachers back in school and college used to tell me, the hardest part is to maintain an A. So don't lean back and be lazy just because you got your man already! And no, no relaxing after you marry him either!

#2. Women who doesn't primp themselves up at all!

I've talked about this. Alright, once in a while maybe you should go natural and makeup-less (this shall be judged from where you are going and what you are going to do). But you can't appear all natural like yogurt all the time and assume that less is best or 'oh, men loves natural beauty so I'll go with no make-up to impress'. So there she goes appearing in public with unkempt eyebrows, shiny face and pale skin in an attempt to gain eminence but ended up throwing everyone into a state of terror.

Like Salma Hayek once said.., 'It actually takes me a lot of make-up in order to make me look like someone who doesn't wear make-up'.

Remember that!

#3. How we can never find a man who would conform 100% to our idea of perfection.

There can never be one man who has all these... drop-dead gorgeous, killer body, awesome persona (as in he is not a bore, not a boor, and especially not a boar!), intelligent, quick-witted and moneyed. All these traits doesn't normally come in one package. So in order to have all, you got to be expecting more than one package, just like an ASTRO deal. Fucked up, eh? Yeah, but that's the actuality of things. 

#4. Straightening out our main objective as in what we need the most in life.

So let us say we finally found someone who somewhat has almost all except a few attributes from the ones listed in #3. In this case let's omit from him the qualities of moneyed and awesome persona. Apart from the two, he has everything else, highlight the drop-dead gorgeous and killer bods! Haha...! Okay now let's say that love kicks us in the butt and we think that this is it. This is the point where we see the future of growing old together and bla, bla, bla. But wrong, after a few number of rolls in the hay, you realized that he is actually a boar and that you need, if not much, just a little bit of money to make things work. And then you realized that love alone can't do miracles. And that you have sorted your priorities in a fallacious manner.

Prioritize here, is the key word. Sort out what you really need in order to face the world and make sure your partner is armed with loads of your priority requirement. Be realistic. I hate to say this but I am saying it anyway, as subtle as possible so that you people won't judge me too hard on this. Hahah!

- Money, up to a certain extend can definitely buy love, which turns happiness into one big bargaining crusade. 

- Love alone can never be enough (and we all know that, we just don't want to admit to it!) because after reality barged in and boxed your ears off leaving you feeling love-sore, you will know that money should help lubricate the whole thing.

- Good-looking men and women are lip-smacking but they better have some value added qualities to accompany their physique. Because without brains and personality, their physical splendor would morph into foible and makes them look plug-ugly!

Ok. Now I can really do off with a long shower! Tata, loves!

Hot Under The Collar

My mood is super bad today. Stomach cramp. The slightest hubbub would irritate me. The tiniest nuisance annoys me. Let alone huge nudniks. Grrrr...!

I don't need no hugging right now. No kissing. No nothing.

Stop asking me questions. Stop asking for my permissions. Stop making imbecilic jokes.

I just need some 24 hours alone time. Don't touch me, I am feeling all muggy.

I ain't talking to no one. Blame it on my hormones. Yes. Blame it on them.

Ty Me Up

I am sipping on some Irish cream while typing this. And yeah, Irish cream is like the closest I could get to an Irish. Ironic. Because I don't quite fancy Irish.

I once told a somewhat-wise-but-not-too-wise man that...,

"When shopping, one should always look for what he needs instead of what he wants. Because what he wants might be of no good to him."

And the somewhat-wise-but-not-too-wise man riposted,

"But what if what you need doesn't need you or even want you?"

He was quite right. My concept may apply if I am not dealing with humans. But I am applying it still, anyway. Because looking for what I need is still the best stratagem, while occasionally indulging myself with the things that I want. Needing is survival, but wanting makes your life ebullient. And the two is indispensable.

So what if what you need doesn't want me or need me? I'll move on, keeping an upbeat mind that someday, I'll find what I need.

The thing is, I can never really know what I need till I find it... For all I know, the next thing I find might be the thing that changes everything... Which by then, I would finally discover that that is the one thing that is good for me. 

On that note, I shall not put any demarcation line on myself. Well at least, not just yet. And I seriously think that none of you out there should. So live on. Don't stop yourself from finding new stuffs. Who knows you might need them someday. You don't want to be too late when you realized that.. 'Hey, that's exactly what I need! And I blew it away..'

Okay, time to succumb to 3 hours of maltreatment in school. Thank god I have some Irish cream in my system to keep me numb. ;)

Sticky Fingers

So this will be one short, impulsive entry. Like Pearl's. And I am currently wishing that I am there, in the picture above.

I have not showered and I am suppose to be in school 30 minutes from now for a discussion on Ethics. Am doing some last minute browsing for materials on Pinedale Mesa against Questar issue. Urgh...!

Some significant people said that I have lost some kilos and throwing me questions like..., 'What happened?'. Well, isn't that good? Besides, I am still the fattest if compared to Saty and Pearl (you bitches has set up such high standards for me to cope with, damn..!).

Ok am going now. The girls are waiting for big momma to come. Grin!

Damsel Back In Distress

And the damsel in distress is back, y'all... With more stress than ever!

Arrived home last night from Langkawi, feeling somewhat crestfallen for having to leave the island. The island was something I thought I would never fall for. And yet, I fell deeply for it, I was swept off my feet.

Allow me to bore you people with details of the trip...

Day 1

Three Damsels arrived in LGK at 1900hrs. We rented a car right away - it was a Wira Aeroback going at RM60 per day. Three Damsels then checked in. Damsel #1 (Mareena) was anxious to get to Reggae Bar so Damsel #2 (Farrah) and Damsel #3 (that's me!) geared up for the party. But first, we had dinner at a Chinese restaurant (can't recall the name) next to Alun-Alun spa on the Chenang stretch.

The Reggae Bar turned out to be kinda cool - poles apart from any clubs you can find in KL. They played reggae music, (thus the name Reggae Bar) and though Damsel #3 was not quite a fan of reggae, she found the club delightful nevertheless. It carries a laid-back atmosphere to suit the island-holiday mood. Plus, one of the waiter was like totally, cute! It wasn't long before three Damsels realized that they don't need their party shoes after all. Flip-flops and bare feet works great for this joint.

And oh, not to forget, Damsels made some friends that night - the Three Blind Mice and the Chipmunks. I guess good things do come in threes. ;)

Day 2

Damsels kicked off their day with simple luncheon, followed by a lengthy lazing around under the sun session. From the beach, Damsels moved to the hotel swimming pool and more lounging took place on the pool deck. Damsel #2 did not get into the water for certain reasons, Damsel #1 took a number of attempts to beat the fear of water, while Damsel #3 took a couple of laps.

After noon, Damsels went up to Burau Bay to check out the Loaf (the bakery owned by Tun Mahathir) and some beautiful yachts moored at the dock.

The evening saw the Damsels chilling on Langkasuka beach, supposedly to watch the sun set. Too bad, it was a little bit hazy, so the sun set unnoticeably under the Damsels eyes. Next, came dinner, again, at a Chinese restaurant, but a different one from the night before.

Day 2 was wrapped up with another trip to the ever splendiferous Reggae Bar.

Day 3

The sun did not rise for the Damsels. The day was somber and the Damsels were depressed, for no tanning session took place despite their effort of lying on the sandy beach for hours. So Damsels ended up drinking for the whole day (courtesy of the Chipmunks) and napping on deck chairs and kicking sands.

Dinner occurred at Fat Mum, another Chinese seafood restaurant. The food served here were exceptionally delectable, much to the Damsels' delight. The homemade tofu, especially, was oh-so orgasmic!

Damsels went to Sunba for a change that night but their spirit were bummed out, for the bar turned out to be too KL-like, and filled by numerous bunch of wannabes.

Note: The Three Blind Mice depart from Langkawi today.

Day 4

Damsels had breakfast, umm..., more like brunch, at the Breakfast Bar - which was kinda expensive for a street stall, and they serve lousy food. The sun was up and Damsels continued their sunbathing activity on Frangipani beach.

Early dinner at Fat Mum. Again. Damsels can't seem to get enough homemade tofu...

Day 4 ends with a session at Alun-Alun spa then strolling and bitching on the beach.

Note: The Chipmunks left.

Day 5

The final day for the Damsels. It began with breakfast at the hotel cafe overlooking the sea, then an early morning stroll along the beach.

Damsels then head for Kuah town after checking out for very little shopping.

Lunch was at Putumayo - lovely restaurant with food that is equally tasty. Chilled at Alun-Alun spa again and then reluctantly, off to the airport.

The bitches' holiday was then over. So much for knocking myself out with the three S'es...Sun, saltwater and s..., sunblock. Sigh...!

Now, Damsel #3 needs to go to sleep. My next niggle will be in real soon. So, see ya!

5-Day Furlough

Sunblock - checked.

Bikini - checked.

Books - checked.

Air tickets - checked... (thank god the girls saved me from traveling on the boat... else I would be puking my intestines out like a drunkard!)

I'll be leaving home at 3. I am finally done with packing and re-packing. The only cabin-sized bag which I planned to take earlier need to be left at home. I switched to a bigger bag which will require me to check it in later. I was laughing at Mareena just a couple of days ago when she said she had so many stuffs to bring for the trip. And here I am, being teased by Un when he saw me unpacking my stuffs from the small bag to his check-in bag. Urrgh...!

I need this - to be away from everything. I, ummm... need to have some people to miss me...Hahahaha! As if anyone would. I need to have fun and relax with the girls. Just the girls, straight-shooting.

Home will see me again next Tuesday. While school will be seeing me next Wednesday. And oh, just in case you are wondering where I am heading to, it's just Langkawi. No big deal, yeah.. But shamefully, I've never been there. So I am now one excited damsel... (wriggle!).

Ok, time to have some itty-bitty lunch. Don't miss me too much, now peeps! ;)

To Make A Long Story Short

Hello again. 3M case will be due in an hour and I am still not done reading it. But I always have time for this. :) Procrastination remains my best friend.

The issue at this hour is... Does being physically beautiful matters so much? Is it important for a woman to be exceptionally beautiful in order to have a man love her unconditionally? Does being pretty beats having a good heart, or being intelligent or being interesting?

And what defines beauty, anyways? Having a perfect model figure? Big eyes and sharp nose? A pair of sexy lips? Huge knockers? Perky asses? Silky smooth skin? Are those alone enough for men to be satisfied with their women?

Beauty, without doubt, is in the eyes of the beholder. I for one, celebrate differences and appreciate flaws. To me, beauty isn't necessarily perfect. For when it is perfect, it will no longer be beautiful.

Once Upon A Ty

I am home on a Saturday night. Right. And it is not because I don’t have a life, but I think it is more precise for me to say that I am too alive.

Tonight, I have decided to blog about something different for a change. Tonight, I am going to bitch about myself. So let’s start right away…

I always think that I am not intelligent enough, not pretty enough and not thin enough… What a negative start, I know, but hey, those feelings never really bug me to the point of tearing my self-esteem apart. I am pretty much confident, and I am okay with being averagely smart, not too pretty and a tad bit fleshy if compared to my sisters.

I don’t like rollercoaster. I love theme parks but I hate rollercoaster. One would have to drag and force me to ride on any. Those few times that I have been on rollercoaster rides were the moments I dread the most and of which I remember until this day. I remember the shortness of breath, the deathly grip of my fists against the iron bar or shoulder harness and the twisty feeling in my intestines as though I was getting down with a major diarrhea. Call me chicken, but I am happily married to Ferris wheel and carousel. Rollercoaster is just too suicidal for me.

My dream guy has always been someone taller and charming. He who speaks with great confidence, he who looks at me with meaningful eyes, he who is smart enough to outwit my average brain and he who whispers the sweetest words to me when I am going to sleep. But sigh…! You can't always have everything your way…I understood that a long time ago.

I don’t like men who are too clingy and needy. And believe it or not, there are many like that out there. I give freedom, and I expect freedom.

When I was in high school, I was dubbed as the klutz. But of course, I was a cool, rebellious klutz. In fact, till this day, I can still be a klutz. I was known for doing silly things and having daftly rumpus occurring upon me every now and then. Ask my friends, they know. I am a certified airhead, no doubt.

There are many other things I am afraid of. To name a few…lizards, getting old and losing the people I love.

I won’t step out of the house with wet hair because I think it is kind of nasty to be walking around in public with wet, clumpy hair. No girls, wet hair isn’t sexy when you do it on purpose, out of your own shower.

I enjoy talking and having good laughs. I try my best not to judge people by how they look and/or by what they do or by what they don’t do. And I expect others to do the same to me too.

I am not gentle. Neither am I tender in the way I act. But I am gentle enough to have a few crying spells a year, soft enough to be touch on the exterior (banyak lemak..hahaha...!) and tender enough to care if not much, a little bit, about others.

One thing I am in for sure is that I am an exciting person. Really. Like really seriously. That’s why I am home on a Saturday night. Ain't that convincing alright? (Wink!)

Reviewing Hancock

Here I am procrastinating again when I should be preparing for hectic Tuesday. But I am having this urge to blog again because I am home alone waiting for my prune-juice attack*. Un has left with a friend for Hellboy, which I do not want to watch because the hero is less appealing.

I am now here because of Hancock. I think it was a terrific movie because other than having the ever sexy Will Smith starring in it (he really is something), it wasn't like any other typical superhero-in-a-fancy-suit movie. And there was a deeper meaning to it.

The few things I learnt from Hancock...:

- That sometimes you can be so in love with someone but you can't be with each other for some weird reason... like for example you become this amnesic bitch when you are with the one you love but a whiz bitch when you're away from him.

- That in life, you can't have everything your way. When you get some, you will lose some. Like for an instance, if I want an A for a particular subject in school without studying for the exam, I'm gonna have to sacrifice my oral appendage to lick a lot of asses and kiss tens of butt cheeks (which I definitely won't do, so to hell with the grades!).

- That love is substitutable. If you can't be with John in order to love him, you can always love and live your life through Ray. Damn. Is it really that easy? Will Smith is not an easy task to forget.

- That kissing someone's wife in the kitchen while the husband was all tucked in bed upstairs(though the whole idea is somewhat exhilarating), could lead to a series of seriously unwanted circumstances.

- That there is no way you can really know anyone even if you have stayed with one for many years under the same roof. For all you know, your mom could be a superhero too!

- That not telling does not mean that you are lying (I might need to crap about this issue very soon).

- That having a taboo relationship is such a turn-on! Why oh why?

- That Will Smith really has good physique (I would love to be the injured lady cop, clinging onto his sturdy, thick shoulders helplessly).

- That Charlize Theron is hot.

So all in all the movie was cool, just the kind of movie I like. Very humanly with a twist of fantasy and sci-fi just enough to not turn it into another ordinary superhero flick. My blue-ribbon for Hancock!

* prune-juice attack : try drinking half a bottle of prune juice within one hour an you'll know what I mean..

WTF?

Can anyone tell me... 

What is the point of being educated when you don't even know how to use the toilet like a person who has seen civilization?

What is the point of scoring a perfect 4.0 on your CGPA when you communicate with another human being worse than a retard?

What is the point of getting straight As for every single subject known to man when you can't even treat another human with respect?

What is the point of getting your post-graduate degree when you can't even get your thought across correctly in neither your own language nor English?

What is the point of getting a degree at all when you can't bring yourself to talk to people of all level, of all races, of all nations and of all religions without judging them or without hating them?

What is the point of wanting to become a lecturer after you've completed all your degrees and super-degrees when you don't even know how to write or speak properly?

What is the point of writing tons and tons of research papers when all you actually did was copy and paste from someone else's writings?

What is the point of becoming a lecturer when you've never had any real life experiences on how the real world works?

What is the point of studying abroad or in an international environment when you can't even see the beauty of mixing around with people of all kinds?

What is the point of even studying and gaining knowledge when your knowledge of handling humans are plain sleazy?

What is the point of being so called 'intelligent' when you are actually a moron in disguise?

It is formidable to be in the know that such characters do exist. Even more appalling for me to think that we are actually sending our children away to schools and colleges and universities to be taught by these kind of people. People who demand for others to greet and respect them first. Worst still they claim themselves to be the friendly ones, the ones who provide good hospitality, who receive saintly teachings from the best religion in the whole wide world. When all they actually are, are just a bunch of horrid, educated beasts, too engrossed with themselves, thinking that they are above everyone else. Just who the hell do they think they are?

Sigh...

Honesty the Best Policy?

I think I have been infested by trypanosomas. And I am having trypanosomiasis. The weird thing is that I have never been to Africa. Yes, I am having some sort of African sleeping sickness; or more like the Malaysian sleeping sickness in this case.

I was taking a look into my Financial Management subject not a few hours ago, trying to load some financial jargons into my poor scientific brain. I did not get further than the second paragraph of the first chapter when the words start to wobble and fade. Soon enough, I nodded away on the sofa with the book still on my lap. Maybe it was me or maybe it was just the subject that is causing me this sickness. I fell asleep in the class yesterday during lecture and woke up in panic when the lecturer threw me a question which I blindly answered, almost half-whispering, while trying my best not to look like I have slept off the entire period.

Anyway, that's not the point. I now have the intention of studying Business Ethics and Law but before I start boring myself with the book, I decided to take a detour into blogging. So, let's talk about honesty.

Would you tell someone the truth if you know that the truth will hurt that someone? We have been taught since young that honesty is never the bad policy, but is this true, really? I came across a quote by Carrie Bradshaw of Sex and the City (played by Sarah Jessica Parker) not too long ago. It says...

"I started thinking about honesty. Maybe the idea was overrated. Maybe coming clean is the ultimate selfish act, a way to absolve yourself by hurting someone who doesn’t deserve to be hurt. I cheated on a test in the fifth grade with two friends. They confessed and failed the class. I never told anyone, and it never mattered."

And upon digesting those words, I realized that there are so much truth in it. That honesty, isn't necessarily the best policy. Especially not when you know that what you are about to tell will hurt the other party like hell or will bother them so much that they couldn't think of anything else for the next one month except that hurtful truth you chose to let her/him know.

Take for instance, a girl asking her boyfriend if she looks fat in a particular dress. Now, to say that she actually looks fat in everything and nothing would be harsh even though that is actually the truth. But telling her so would probably make her go hysterical and that is definitely not an outcome any men would ever want. So he would politely say no and save the girl from being hurt and him from being the victim of something he shouldn't have said. He was being ethical and unselfish.

Let's take in another scenario when a relationship has turned so routine that one decided to jump it. Now, he knows that that would hurt the partner extremely bad, but for him to live on with lies are just something he won't want to do for the rest of his life. Plus, of course, the fact that he already has someone else tickling his fancies on the side provides another strong reason why he doesn't want to be in such monotonous relationship any longer. So, being the selfish bastard, he told the truth to his partner...

'Baby, I don't think we can go on like this any further. I don't think we have it anymore. I don't love you as much and even if we try, I doubt it will get any better. Look, I know the truth hurts, but I am just being honest. I don't want to fool you into believing that I love you when I am actually in love with someone else.'

Now, please tell me, which part of the above speech depicts a good policy? He was obviously being selfish and just by telling the truth does not give him any plus point. He shouldn't hide behind the honesty policy, pretending like he's not purposely being a bastard. He might as well says...

'Hey, I am one sick bastard who gets tired of the same old pussy.(Excuse my language, but I am trying to make a point) Therefore, I'm leaving for a fresh one, 'nuff said.'

The way I see it, at times, there may be no good in always telling the truth, let alone to describe that honesty is always the best policy because it may not always be. One should always consider if the positive outcome of being honest outweighs the negative. And if the negative outweighs the positive, and if one can still pull the non-selfish act, it will be wiser to just shut up. Because what they don't know can never hurt them.

So okay. I am going back to books. Umm... or maybe not. The sleeping sickness is kicking in again. I think I'll pass the books and go to sleep. (Grin!)

Brain Concussion

I just wanna say that I have had one hell of a hectic week. Both with school and business. I won't elaborate in detail here because I am still feeling tense about the whole flow of situation.

And last night. Last night was one rough night. That is all I can say. I am spent. Have not slept for more than 24 hours. It's a curse that I am such an amnesic bitch last night and ended up giving everyone a hard time. (Guilty sigh...but still laughing at own stupidity. IQ of 135 indeed!) Agave tequilana was responsible for last night's harebrained incident. ;) Also, I am blaming part of my insanely quest last night on someone with an IQ of 138. Fancy making me walk and leave my car a block away!

I'm no longer feeling the concussion in the brain. Either it had totally subsided or my head just got used to it. Am also feeling overly sleepy right now, I think I could sleep while I walk. Think I'll sleep on the sofa again tonight while watching House over and over again. Ah..., that will be bliss!

P/s: There's a dead baby lizard near my TV cabinet and I cant bring myself to throw it away.

Pour Femme!

I have been tagged by Chics many, many days ago. And I have been wanting to respond to the tag akan tetapi time-time tu la aku terlebih-lebih rajin untuk menulis bermacam-macam crap yang lain. Nevermind, I'm doing this now. This won't be much of a read but what the hell, I'm going to amuse myself with it.

My Foundation:

SK-II Sign Transform Foundation - The first time I bought it, aku terase macam tak best. I was thinking, apsal la aku beli brand ni when everyone else is crazy about Bobbi Brown or M.A.C. But after using it for the first time, I saw a different glow on my skin (terase diri macam extra lawa macam tu...hahaha!) and I know then that I don't want to use anything else other than this. 

My Mascara:

Make Up For Ever Lengthening Mascara - Lengthening mascara la sebab bulu mata super pendek. The applicator isn't too big for my sepet eyes so it's good. Make Up Forever sebab murah.

My Day Cream:

SK-II Facial Lift Emulsion - No specific reason for this. I just know I need a day cream and I pick this sebab ade perkataan 'facial lift'. A 30 year-old would at least need that. And this one does the trick well enough.

My Essential Beauty Product:

For hair 

+Redken Extreme Shampoo and Conditioner

+Redken CAT Protein Reconstruction Treatment

Tapi rambut tak lawa-lawa jugak. Ahh....!!!

For Face

+SK-II Facial Treatment Cleanser

+SK-II Facial Treatment Essence - the miracle water

+SK-II Advance Sign Treatment - for nights

For body

+Mandi lah pakai sabun. Hehe..! But for me body soap equals to shower cream/gel and bar soap adelah untuk cuci bontot after your number 2.

My Favorite Makeup Product:

Eyebrow pencil, eye-highlighter, mascara and lip gloss are the necessaries. I like gloss from Make Up For Ever because it smells nice dan tak bacin like some. Stuffs from Benefit are awesome too. And I am not compatible with anything Christian Dior. I'll get break-outs the next day.

My Perfume:

+Chanel Mademoiselle

+Bvlgari Blv

I wish I can find something else other than these two. But many years have gone while I search for interesting new perfumes. Occasionally, I would try something different but most of them turn into one-month-stand perfume. None match the above and I kept reeling back to them.

My Nails:

I love French manicure tapi takkan la 24-7 nak ber-French manicure kan. So once in a blue moon I would go for salon manicure. But normally I'll trim and buff my nails at home, by myself. My nails can never be truly short because they look real ugly that way.

My Feet:

Similar to fingernails. I use Dr Scholl's Pumice Foot Scrub when necessary.

My Hands:

Any lotion I can find. Ape-apelah janji lotion boleh sapu, jalan!

Three Beauty Products to bring on a deserted island:

Being deserted on an island means the situation is definitely uncalled for. So there's no way I'll have any beauty products with me. If I'm lucky, there'll be somewhere in my bag a lip gloss and/or compact powder (these would happen if I was going out for a hot date, heheh..!). But I can guarantee that I'll have a few sticks of cigarettes and some old receipts to assist combustion for cold island nights if need be.

Women I admire for their beauty:

I don't like the typical cute look in women. I think 'cute' is for girls and not women. Voting against cute, my list of admirable women sees...

+Claire Forlani (sexy full lips)

+Ali Larter (naturally sexy pout)

+Kate Beckinsale (mysterious beauty)

+Giselle Bundchen (just wow!)

Women with the Best Sense of Style:

+Angelina Jolie (always got it right in a sensible, no ridicule manner)

My Ultimate Beauty Dream:

+To have slender thighs. My thighs are chunky, yo! And also I would love to be 5 inch taller.

How Do I Define Womanhood:

+Womanhood is when a girl grow out of being tergedik-gedik tak tentu pasal.

My Favorite Fashion Publication:

+Nothing in particular. I easily fall for publications with good cover shots. 

I am tagging:-

# Tyiara

# Satyiana

# Ruzanna (Roza)

# Mareena

# Sarah

# Farisha

# Liz