I am home on a Saturday night. Right. And it is not because I don’t have a life, but I think it is more precise for me to say that I am too alive.
Tonight, I have decided to blog about something different for a change. Tonight, I am going to bitch about myself. So let’s start right away…
I always think that I am not intelligent enough, not pretty enough and not thin enough… What a negative start, I know, but hey, those feelings never really bug me to the point of tearing my self-esteem apart. I am pretty much confident, and I am okay with being averagely smart, not too pretty and a tad bit fleshy if compared to my sisters.
I don’t like rollercoaster. I love theme parks but I hate rollercoaster. One would have to drag and force me to ride on any. Those few times that I have been on rollercoaster rides were the moments I dread the most and of which I remember until this day. I remember the shortness of breath, the deathly grip of my fists against the iron bar or shoulder harness and the twisty feeling in my intestines as though I was getting down with a major diarrhea. Call me chicken, but I am happily married to Ferris wheel and carousel. Rollercoaster is just too suicidal for me.
My dream guy has always been someone taller and charming. He who speaks with great confidence, he who looks at me with meaningful eyes, he who is smart enough to outwit my average brain and he who whispers the sweetest words to me when I am going to sleep. But sigh…! You can't always have everything your way…I understood that a long time ago.
I don’t like men who are too clingy and needy. And believe it or not, there are many like that out there. I give freedom, and I expect freedom.
When I was in high school, I was dubbed as the klutz. But of course, I was a cool, rebellious klutz. In fact, till this day, I can still be a klutz. I was known for doing silly things and having daftly rumpus occurring upon me every now and then. Ask my friends, they know. I am a certified airhead, no doubt.
There are many other things I am afraid of. To name a few…lizards, getting old and losing the people I love.
I won’t step out of the house with wet hair because I think it is kind of nasty to be walking around in public with wet, clumpy hair. No girls, wet hair isn’t sexy when you do it on purpose, out of your own shower.
I enjoy talking and having good laughs. I try my best not to judge people by how they look and/or by what they do or by what they don’t do. And I expect others to do the same to me too.
I am not gentle. Neither am I tender in the way I act. But I am gentle enough to have a few crying spells a year, soft enough to be touch on the exterior (banyak lemak..hahaha...!) and tender enough to care if not much, a little bit, about others.
One thing I am in for sure is that I am an exciting person. Really. Like really seriously. That’s why I am home on a Saturday night. Ain't that convincing alright? (Wink!)