O' Pregnant Moms

This is strictly for the ladies...

I have never bore a child, even at this age when I should have. But I'm cool with that cos I've seen many girls, women, ladies who are pregnant and most of them are not pretty sights. Say, what kind of a 'pregnant mom' you people were or what kind will you be if you are pregnant?

This year, for the first time ever in my life, I would say, I watched someone very dear getting all bloated up so beautifully right before my eyes. And as I sit here thinking of why she is so different from all the other pregnant mothers out there, I discover a few points of variance.

Therefore, soon-to-be-mommies, bolehlah mengikut petua-petua di bawah sekirenye anda mahu kelihatan 'maintain' dan cantik walaupun perut anda semakin membusung.

Tips 1 - People often lied, saying that pregnant ladies will have their own sexy, radiant glow when they are pregnant. Ini semua memang tipu semate-mate. Yes, the mommy's face do get slightly pink especially on the nose tapi hanye disebabkan oleh kebengkakkan body parts that causes the blood to flow more to those sites. Jadi, walaupun hidung anda kembang dan merah, ibu-ibu sekalian, tolonglah jangan cepat berpuas hati yang anda sudah cantek. Please do a favour for your fellow colleagues and all the civillians you bump into everyday when you go out, by plastering some make-up on your face. Pakailah at least sedikit make-up walaupun anda konon2nye adelah natural beauty la sebelum ni tak pakai make up pun cantik..(haaaark tuiii...!). Jadi silelah sorokkan muke anda yang berkilat-kilat dan kembang mekar untuk suami di rumah saje (jike suke, karena suami pun akan fed-up kalau melihat muke kembang itu setiap hari selame 9 bulan, hehe..)

Think About It! : There is no such thing like..'I look better without make-up'. Cos I believe wearing make-up is suppose to enhance your features to make you look good. Kalau anda ever come across this statement or you yourself are making this statement, maksud tersiratnye ialah samaade anda tak reti pakai make-up atau orang yang me'make-up'kan anda memang bute colour.

Tips 2 - Reorganize your wardrobe carefully. Nobody look pretty in the old fashion, umbrella cut, calf length maternity clothings. Nope, you won't look cute either. 'Cute' is meant for the baby, not for you. Understand that, please. There's nothing wrong with dressing up just the way you were before when you are not pregnant. Boleh pakai mini skirt juge kalau suke. Cume kalau kaki sudah sebesar kaki hippopotamus, you can try to forget it la kot...Just wear what you would normally wear, in plus size. Mesti ade saiz yang muat sebab kalau tak kesian la orang-orang yg kurang slim, mane diorang cari baju, kan? Tanyelah pade rakan-rakan yang berbadan agak besar, kat mane diorang cari baju. Kalau susah-susah sangat, pakai je la baju kurung, tapi pakai la baju kurung yang cantik-cantik juge..okeh?

Tips 3 - Once you are done with your face and your clothes, it's time to make pretty all the smaller things like your hair and your shoes. Okay, hair. Do your hair to suit your 'kembang' face. Ape-ape la janji the hair look nice on you, neat and well-kept. Because most of us are not Claudia Schiffers or Kate Beckinsales, make jangan sekali-kali menoncit rambut secara serabai-natural-dudukrumah style. Remember that! Next, shoes. Find shoes that are both flattering and comfortable to complement your attire. Janganla atas dah cantek-cantek, kasut pakai kasut makcik. Well, not unless you are a real 'makcik', I'll excuse you. Surely there are shoes comfortable enough to be worn by someone pregnant and yet still trendy somewhere out there, kan? Takkan takde kot, makcik...?

Think About It! : Will the real 'makcik' please stand up? I would sure love to meet you. Maybe we can have an interview or something..

Tips 4 - When you already have a lovely, comfy pair of shoes, it's time to brush up the way you walk. The typical way of walking for most pregnant mommies ialah dengan satu tangan memegang bahagian pinggang, near the spine, sambil berjalan mengengkang-ngengkang. Tangan yang sebelah lagi, kalau bebas tak memegang ape-ape, mestilah dibuai-buaikan mengikut pace berjalan anda. NO! NO! NO! Mommies, don't do this. Don't EVER do this! Whatever reasons you come up with for walking that way, it is unacceptable. I've seen those who walked well during pregnancy. Many of them walked as they would have normally walk on the non-pregnant phase of their lives. So walk properly, please..with beauty and pride. The only reason why you don't walk proper is because you just looooove being a 'makcik'.

Think About It : A lot of people are into being 'makcik' even when they are suppose to be 'cik'. Why, people? Why?

Tips 5 - And do watch your etiquette too. I've seen pregnant ladies who show their huge tummies to people around them. The problem is, takde orang mintak pun nak tengok perut die. Bukan sahaje perutnye besar sebab ade baby dalam duduk, malah hitam dan berbulu pule di bahagian pusat. Again, save your belly for those closest to you or those who asked to look at it. Then, lactation. Another yucky problem only for your pregnant self to know, not the public. If you are the type who lactates a lot, make sure you pad your tits with adequate amount of tissues, towels or sanitary pads if need be. Try not to walk around with wet patches on your clothes di bahagian tetek, it's too much!!

So try to bear those tips in mind, pregnant mumsies, or remember it the next time you get yourself pregnant. Be pregnant with style. Be classy. Have some dignity.

"I will never kiss nor smell someone else's newborn baby delivered the normal way. Indirectly, it is like I'm sniffing that somebody else's pussy. Eeww.., I only dare kiss the baby when he/she is at least a month old. By then, the odor of the mom's cunt would have faded." - Saty

Found this on Chics' Blog

Found this on Chics'. Tried it and loved it. Now you try..

Home At Last...But Dizzy

Dear Blogreaders..,

I just got home from work this morning and I've not seen home since last Saturday. And I was bloody homesick. Was forcing my not much of eyelids to remain open the whole 6-hour journey from Karachi and was practically trying my best not to drag my size 8 feet (yeah, I'm the notorious 'bigfoot', haha!) in case I bumped into some fucken, nasty supervisors and shoot some snooty remarks, or worst still make a written report to the office about my lacking of poise posture. Some fucken job I have, huh?

It was a good thing I didn't have to wait for bloody send off cab to go home. Papa was already waiting for me outside the arrivals. Oh thank god...!!

Slept for 3 hours once I climbed onto bed. That was the longest I could do for a daytime nap. Now I'm up, feeling nothing better than a fucken headache coming onto me. Sorry, I just feel like cursin throughout this one. My nose is slightly runny, thanks to the dirty, polluted air in Karachi. If you think KL's air is bad, this one's worse. I was lucky not to fall sick.


The only thing there that made good impression was the beriyani rice. Deliciously original. Our beriyani is nothing compared to theirs. It was so motherfucking tasty that I could just eat the rice alone and it tasted soo...wow!

Owh.., am suddenly hungry. Gotta hobble downstairs to look for food. Tata now..! Will get back in a couple of days. Promise. Dizzy...

The 'Shallow Man' Disease

My recent encounter with a 'shallow' First Officer gave me the urge to proceed with this. There has been too many of this type lately and I've concluded that it is a disease among men already.

Now if you see any man behaving this way, most probably he's born with the above disease..

1. See women as no more than a 'screw' subject - Patient will lose their ability to value women for their brains, personality, beauty and the kindness of their heart. When they see eye to eye with any women, 'cunt' is the only thing he could make out of it. Biarlah perempuan tu lagi pandai, lagi kaye, lagi bagus dan ape-ape yg semuanye lagi hebat, die tetap akan dapat meng'deduce' persamaan ini : women = cipap = main

2. Perasan 'hot' - Most patients will almost always have this symptom. Die akan terase dirinye adelah 'hot stuff' yang mane pada pendapatan die, semua perempuan akan syiok pade die. Padahal, hakikatnye yang 'hot' mungkin hanye poketnye saje. Tapi kalau poket 'hot' masih ok juga. Ade juge yang bersimtom perasan 'hot' di katil, 'hot' dr segi stail dan rupe dan berbagai lagi tapi sebenarnye langsung takde 'hot' la. This symptom is very dangerous because it might cause other people to puke when the 'Shallow Man' patient is around.

3. Do not believe in having female pals - More often than not, those who suffers from this disease do not believe in having pure friendship with women. All their female friends happen to be (patient will claim this..) either their ex, their life-time admirers, the girl who is having a crush on them or the one they have slept with. If in any case anda terjumpe dengan pesakit yang menunjukkan simtom ini, sila beri pesakit pelempang sebanyak 37 kali supaye die tersedar.

4. Think their money is license to everything - Boleh dikatekan 70 peratus dari pesakit yang mengalami jangkitan ini selalunye memang ade duit. Tak banyiak, sikit mesti ade punye. Ataupun mungkin tak banyiak tapi cakap kasi besar sikit biar nampak macam banyiak duit. Patients will always use their money to lure women to want to be with them. Kalau pesakit ade sedikit rupe, pesakit itu sangat bertuah sebab kerjenye akan menjadi lebih senang berbanding dengan pesakit yang tiade rupe. Pesakit malang yang tiade rupe akan selalunye mengasah bakat dalam bidang perbahasan supaye nanti boleh kasi amoi cair dengan kate-kate romantis mereka. To the patients, 'ade duit, mesti boleh dapat'.

5. Very physical in choosing their partner/victim - This symptom is closely related to symptom number 2. Oleh kerane pesakit sudah bersimtom perasan 'hot', make die akan mahu bersame dengan perempuan-perempuan yang 'hot' juge. 'Hot' di sini adelah 'hot' dari segi rupe, ya. Kalau anda wanita yang 'hot' di bahagian otak (bijak pandai) atau 'hot' di bahagian personaliti sahaje tidak perlu risau kerane anda tidak akan didekati oleh pesakit ini. But if you are 'hot' from all aspect, looks, brains, personality and bla, bla, bla, you are still vulnerable to be attacked by 'Shallow Man' patients. Walaubagaimanepun, Mr Shallow tidak akan mengambil port akan otak mahupun personaliti anda. Pesakit akan tetap menganggap anda lebih bodoh dari die dan tiade personaliti juge. Haha...!

6. Achievement = no. of women 'screwed' - This is how 'Shallow Man' patients measure their lifetime achievement. Dari segi ini, pencapaian adelah berkadar langsung dengan jumlah perempuan yang berjaye di'screw'kan. Pesakit akan terase sangat 'best' jike jumlah yang di'screw' adelah banyiak. Kadangkala, walaupun jumlah 'screw' tidak seberape, patient will exaggerate the number so as to boost up their egos and also to look 'macho' in front of others.

7. Talk about nothing but themselves - This one needs no further explanation. Mr Shallow sudah semestinye sangat gemar bercakap pasal diri sendiri tak kire tempat, mase dan dengan siape die berade dengan. (What shit am I shitting?). By whatever way, this symptom will cause the sufferers of this disease to not have many true friends. If a patient does not have this symptom, then his condition is not too bad and considered not so life threatening.

All in all, this plague hitting the population of men can be viewed as both threat, and challenge to the community. To me, being around a 'Shallow Man' or many of them really makes me go grr...!!! but gossiping about the encounter makes it all worth it. Thank you all you 'Shallow Man' out there. You gave me something to bitch about!

Footnote : This disease is known to hit the female gender more often with some slight deviation in the symptoms. And I'm waiting for someone else to write about it.

Enunciation of Love

I have always love the sight of cows grazing in an open field. So calm and carefree. Blithe. Just keep on grazing.., grazing.., tail swaying..

P/s : It has to be cows and nothing else. Not horses, horses don't have this remorse look like cows. And goats are too small, and the 'not so much' of a tail can't sway.

The Happy List

Here's a hundred things for me to be happy about..

curling up under the sheets on a rainy day-chilling with friends over coffee-hot tea in front of the tube-tv meals-sisters:Saty and Pearl-mom's cooking-family holiday-cigarettes while doing no. 2-off days-cinnamon rolls-makeover-bookstores-board games-a good talk with anyone-Chinese food-buffets-posh dining-old friends-selected few new friends-csi-showhouses-catalogues-heavy rain-swimming pool-handicrafts-weddings-free sms-watching aircrafts takeoff and land-stationeries-perfumes-hot bath-blue films-dictionary and thesaurus-surfing the net-photo album-trees and plants-the colour white and the colour green-theatres and concerts-stuck in the traffic with good company-watching fish swim-pc games-waking up late-taking late noon shower-slow sex-mee bandung Muar-long drive-old buildings-my sweetheart's antics-a good sofa-people with beautiful minds-a busy street in the city-bedtime reading-magazines-boxes and ribbons-pirated dvds-diary-cameras-pen drive-mp3 player-go braless-learning something new-having a crush-full stomach-acne free skin-tea time-lunch date-early morning breakfast on an off day-diet plans-sunset-candlelit room-watching clouds-sleeping naked-window shopping-real shopping-convenient stores-supermarket-being loved-afternoon nap-the smell of petrol-children's drawing-being hugged-cuddling-sleeping alone-sleeping with someone-listening to the rain-pet shop-solitary rose-crossword puzzles-calendar-blank white paper-quotes-home alone-small business-hobbies-whip cream-cakes-lego set-dishware-miniatures-treasure box

Wanna Be Hypnotised?

Just read Farah's and Adly's blog. Not so long ago I've read Ima's, Pearl's and Ennie's. And I can't help noticing the amount of frustration belted out in almost each and every piece. Mine would be the ultimate one. Like Johar said, I've been complaining since day one! Not true actually. I did write one or two happy, merry blogs.

I wish I can be at my best all the time. Think positive, speak positive and do positive. For this, I will have to give some amount of salutation to Alek, the most positive individual I ever know exist in this world.

Was thinking... Maybe we should all try going through hypnosis. Met a friend's friend yesterday who is learning the art of hypnosis. He/She said it is suppose to be able to relief some good amount of stress, bad thoughts, bad vibes and yada, yada, yada. Unlike meditation, hypnosis will take a much lesser time. It's something like.., snap! You go into trance-like state, and snap again you're out! The result; a beautiful, clean, virgin mind ready to be shaped and sculptured into your desired way of thinking. So, supposedly, tada...!! The new, stress-free, good-will you shall be born.

Wonder if it really works. Wonder how much a session will cost. These people surely are making some real dough out of people's state of mind. Hmm..

Just Yesterday

Yesterday was a busy day for me. Well, not that busy actually, but I found that yesterday I finally did what I needed to do.

I finally went to the company's HR Department to apply for my FOC travel ticket for myself, my mom and my dad. I should have done this a couple of months ago but as usual, my lazy ass wouldn't allow me. So that's one thing down, and next will be visa application for me and mom. This, I will do next month, promise. Insufficient fund for this month already.

After lunch yesterday, I visited my former lecturer/project advisor in Univ. Malaya. I was lucky that she was in her office. It has been years since I last met and talked to Dr Yati. Afraid she didn't remember me, but she did. So we chat for a couple of hours and of course I didn't forget to put up my request to her, the main reason I was there in the first place. One, to ask her if she would write me a recommendation letter for my MBA application next year. Two, if I could borrow from her my final year thesis that I wrote some 5 years back. You see, I had a copy of the thesis but after many years and many eventful turns in my life I lost it.

Anyway, it was indeed good to be talking to her. Very refreshing. Asked her many things, grabbed some advice, then off I went to see Mareena for dinner. Had another couple of hours of chat with her, exchanging some hot juicy stories bout each other. I got home at around 10 pm, satisfied with myself.

P/s : Pearl, forgot to tell ya that Mareena asked us for a night out right after you went back to Golden. She thought you were still around.

A Short One

I'm gonna cook today. And I'm gonna rearrange my wardrobe later too cos it is starting to look like 'sarang'. I'll be off tomorrow, so hurrah! Well, like as though I'm working today.. Feel like going somewhere but don't know where. Wanna visit some friends, but surely, they're all working. I'm trying to make future plans for myself. Wanna earn some extra $$ for my own living, but don't know how I should start. Should I be selling cakes? (Then I'm gonna have to start taking baking classes). Or should I give home tuitions? (But will I be a good teacher?) Well, just some thoughts.. Gotta go heat up the wok now.

Not Meant For Reading

I ought to jot this down before I forget it...

Terrified again of not loving, of loving and not loving you, of being in love and not by you. If you do not love me I shall not be loved and if I do not love you I shall not love.

I Do Not Sound Stupid

Hari ni aku buat keputusan untuk memblog dalam bahase Melayu. Bahase Melayu yang sebenarnye sangat cantik tapi selalu diperkecilkan oleh ramai orang Melayu sendiri. Ramai orang sekarang yang lebih suke cakap dan tulis dalam bahase omputih walaupun sebenarnye ape yg dicakap/tulis tu semuanye lintang-pukang tatabahase dan ejaannye. Macam aku jugak la. Sampai boleh jadi pening kepale orang yang membacenye. Aku bace blog aku sendiri pun aku boleh pening, inikan pulak orang lain. Kadang-kadang nak tergelak pun ade.

Aku taklah marah pade orang-orang ni sebab aku pun macam tu jugak kan. Pade aku tak salah kalau tulis tu dengan niat nak belajar. Bak kate omputih, "practice makes perfect." Hari ni aku nak berblog dalam bahase Melayu sebab lepas dengar Sharifah Amani cakap, "I sound stupid if I speak in Malay." Sebab aku tak nak kedengaran bodoh atau jadi bodoh jadi aku pun tulis la blog ni. Aku orang Melayu jadi mestilah tahu cakap Melayu. Tak pandai sangat pun tak ape, bukan nak mengarang hebat-hebat macam sasterawan negare pun.

Aku sebenarnye cume nak ceritakan yang kelmarin aku sempat jugak jumpe Pearl kat airport sebelum die balik Colorado. Sampai-sampai je aku kat airport dari Kuching pagi tu, aku terus berlari-lari pegi ke bangunan perlepasan antarabangsa. Cume ade 20 minit je sebelum Pearl kene masuk dalam kapalterbang. Terselak-selak kain kebaye aku, tapi tak peduli la mase tu. Tengah aku berlari-lari anak tu ade lah pulak sorang makcik mat salleh tahan aku mintak bawak die pegi ke balai berlepas C3. Ches, makcik ni, aku dah tengah kelam-kabut nak suruh aku hantar die pulak. Tapi aku nak cakap tak boleh, tak sampai hati plak bile aku tengok die sorang-sorang. Jadi aku pun sambil berlari setempat, ajak la die ikut aku berjoging sekali memandangkan aku pun nak ke arah tu jugak. Aku siap tahankan pintu aerotren yang dah nak tertutup tu (punye lah macho aku mase tu) supaye makcik mat salleh aku tu tak ketinggalan.

Dekat dalam tren aku berhenti berlari sebab kalau aku lari pun dah tak gune. Sampai kat destinasi aku cepat-cepat turun dari tren sambil mengheret makcik mat salleh tu. Aku tunjuk kat die papan tande balai C3 dan suruh die ikut je papan tande tu dan jangan menggelabah sebab kalau die menggelabah nanti papan tande pun die takkan nampak. Aku plak teruskan larian marathon aku pegi ke balai C25.

Sampai dekat C25, mak oi.. punye la ramai manusie. Rupenye aku belum terlambat lagi. Dari jauh aku dah nampak orang gile berbaju singlet 'pemukul isteri' (alihbahasa langsung untuk 'wifebeater') berwarne hitam tengah terloncat-loncat dan melambai-lambai kat aku. Adik aku tu rupenye. Aku pun masuklah dan jumpe die kejap dalam 5, 10 minit. Sempat la jugak nangis-nagis, peluk-peluk..hehe..mane ade. Tak kuase. Dah dekat 10 kali die asyik pegi balik Malaysia-Colorado. Tahun depan balik lah die ke Malaysia terus. Mase tu nanti gerenti aku jelak tengok muke die punye.

Itulah sahaje cerite aku. Takde cerite pun sebenarnye. Saje practice bahase Melayu plak. Pade aku, orang Malaysia, nak-nak orang Melayu biarlah tahu cakap Melayu. Orang Melayu yang tak tahu cakap Melayu takde la kelas mane pun sebenarnye. Nampak bodoh lagi ade. Sebelum kite belajar bahase orang lain, mesti la belajar bahase kite dulu. Semua bahase pun same je kan sebenarnye.. Mane ade bahase yang bodoh atau bahase yang pandai. Tapi orang yang bodoh dan orang yang pandai memang ade. Yang aku pasti ialah, "I will only sound stupid speaking in any language if I am stupid."

Driving License-On Probation

Everyday is a learning experience for every human being.

Today I learned something new, or more appropriate if I say, today I just realised something not so new.

This day I realised that the slowest lane on the highway is the middle lane. The left-most lane has become the medium-speed lane while the right-most lane still remains as it is..,sometimes.
I don't quite get it though, I remembered taking that course 'Kursus Pemanduan Berhemah' or something that sounds like it many years back. I recalled that the left-most is the slowest and the right-most being the fastest. What happen to that now?

I noticed today that many road-users love to be on the middle lane unless they are late for appointment or in dire need to do their number 1 call or number 2. Other than that, you can see that a handful of drivers will be oh-so-happy cruising on the midlane even if they know that they are very much slower than that steam-roller steamrolling on their left lane.

Through my observation, most of the time you will only see these kinds moving on the slow (left) lane; tractors, really huge lorries, trailers or buses, old beaten-up cars, and some drivers on probations. I used to see motorcyclist on the left-lane in earlier days, I mean, there are still quite a number of them comfortably riding on the lefties now, but since the 'rempit-boom' hit Malaysia in the last few years, these new-bred motorcylist wouldn't want to be caught dead 'rempitting' on the slow lane.

I can't quite understand this situation. Perhaps it has something to do with the attitude. Is driving on the slow lane a painful humiliation for some? Is it too shameful to admit that 'yes, I am a slow driver, so I should be driving on the left and not in the middle'? Drivers in denial would probably say 'what? Me slow? I ain't slow. Oh we overtook that old strolling cow far behind already, that one ahead of us on the left lane is a different one'. Or maybe some actually think that 'hey, I am driving a machine that costs more than a year of your salary, this baby should not even sniff the left lane, not even during emergencies!' Others who are ignorant would just say 'hell, I don't care. Bite my tail for as long as you want. Unsatisfied? Shift!'.

There is another type of driver which I observed not so many hours ago. Those who drive expensive, luxurious car who treasures their car so much, maybe because of the fact that not only they had spent a fortune on the car, they are actually discounting their daily meals or maybe their wife's or kids' meal in order to own and maintain that car. Or maybe they just want to make sure that all road users would be able to see them in that oh-so-great-a-car. These kind of people would drive real slow no matter where they are. Highway or no highway. And if they are about to run on road humps, they will slow down..., real slow..., till they are no longer slow. They practically stop!

Simply said, there's so many kinds of people out there and with that many types, they also come with so many types of automobile. That makes hundreds of combination of attitudes. E.g. those who wanna drive fast but can't afford it, those who can't drive fast but can afford it, those who can't afford it and won't drive fast, those who can't drive but is driving, etc..etc.. But life's like that. It has got to be very much colourful so that I always have something to bitch about. Little sister can't blame me for this. She's the one telling me that I am a woman with ten mouths.

Shrink Wanted

What do you have to say to someone who feel like throwing up everytime he/she is getting ready for work? Or are you actually one of the people who actually feel that way everytime or every other time you get into that office attire or uniform in your attempt to go to work? I'm one of them.

I gravely think there is something wrong with me. I know I hate my current job and I know that that is the major issue for how I am acting lately, when I know I'd be working this unendurable job in the next 24 hours. I am so unmotivated and it felt strange cause this is not how I usually am.

This job, I've been in it for slightly over a year now. And hell, I've tried everything to make me love it. I even came up to a point where I would tell myself repeatedly out loud that 'I LOVE THIS JOB'. It seems to be alright at first but now it's getting worse. I love meeting people, yes I do, and after much thinking, perhaps I dislike the people* (people* - as in fellow colleagues, the nasties, the braggers, the know-it-alls, the me-superior-me-better) in this job more than the job itself. I simply DO NOT understand why some boys and girls could die and cry to be in this line. It's pathetic.

I have been working since I was 13. Doing part-time neighbourhood tuition and later on when I hit 18, I filled up my free time working as promoter for various roadshows and product launchings till my final semester in college, where after that I finally get a decent office job upon my graduation. I've had my share of times doing the not so glamour and not so mind-boggling works but I still manage to get a good amount of satisfaction out of those jobs. At least I don't feel like a crap I am nowadays. Think I might as well list out what I despise about this horrid, pitiful post as an air-bimbo... :

1. Working with multi-type morons. Statistically, about 70 percent in the field is of this kind. And I hate working with them. It gives me brain-sore.

2. People becomes mechanical. There's no human touch among employees or between management and employees. Someone get sick, send e-mail companywide. Someone does a good job, send e-mail companywide. Someone screw-up, punish. Someone is different from another, make them the same.Not personalised. Humans are not treated as an individual person but a generic item.

3. Time consuming. Very. I hate the fact that I am wasting my time sitting in the van to go to work. Wasting my time on a long flight, when all tasks are completed and yet you can't do anything productive but gabbing. Reading is not allowed during work. So, if it's your lucky day, you'll get to gab with that 30% type or else you're just stuck with, MORONS!

4. I don't like getting to know people for just a matter of a few hours or maybe just a few days (just because you have to work with them). You won't get much out of it. There's no proper connection. I love people and I love getting to know others, but not this way. Established connection is more of my kind. I don't believe in touch-and-go.

5. Living out of the suitcase. Tiring. Not comfortable. Don't want it anymore. I would prefer resting in my own nest, the one without air-condition,without water heater, without duvet or carpet or bathtub. My own dwelling is still my first choice of a 5-star resort. It is personalised, it has my smell. Plus, I can do more valuable activities at home.

6. Standby duty makes me sick and miserable. I hate waiting. I hate the fact that I can't plan ahead. I hate living life by the hour waiting on my hand and foot. Not knowing what's coming or what's not coming. I can't do it. It's tormenting.

7. Living life by the month. Nothing more. Can't plan the future. Again, can't plan ahead. That's how it is. Live monthly via tabulated schedule. Every month is a different story and there's no way you can tell if you'll be around for your next birthday or your loved ones'. I am all tangled!
8. And many, many other reasons that is just so unspeakable over this blog.

Alright, maybe I'm a little bit too much, because as apalling as the job can be, and no matter how wickedly I detest it, it still puts food on 'MY' table. That, I am still grateful to the great Lord. Part of it is because I plainly had no choice. I can't leave till the bonding period is over. And on another, I know I have given my best at work, well at least to the passengers. I gave my best to my fellow colleagues too, but somehow some might think that 'best' is not good enough or maybe they have a totally different definition of that simplistic word. Hmm..., maybe this is why I'm feeling so tensed up. Maybe I tried too hard to please others and to have others have the choicest impression of me. Hmm..., maybe..

Now what I am trying to tell you, is that this job I'm having right now is worse than bad sex. Even bad sex can be recovered by masturbating. This job? Uh-uh. No way you can masturbate your way through. This one career..; honestly, I don't even think it deserves to be classified that way. Career? Heck it is not! But nevermind. I shouldn't be emotional, but maybe I should, or else I'm gonna be a more deranged person than I already am. If I offended some people with this one, I guess, I'm sorry, but I don't fucken care! Hey,this is my blog and I write what I wish to. So write your own if you're unsatisfied, or curse me in the comments column. Go ahead and do it.

P/s : After much of the above bellowing, I still think that I need a shrink. Or at least a handsome doctor. Smile! Owh.., how I wish I could cry..

Current State of Miss Couch Potato

I am fuckin', freakin' lazy. Wanted to blog, had so many ideas running in mind when I'm not in front of the computer. But now that I am, everything just goes away or everything comes in blotches and clusters and I'm having hell to sort things out.

Wanted to swim earlier but the water in the pool was bloody murky. Didn't know what happen to the maintenance guy.. saw him this morning cleaning the tiles, removing moulds, I suppose. Wonder if he forgot to throw some chlorine in. Watched CSI season 2 on DVD with Pearl. Hell knows how many times I've watched that, but it's cool, I can do that like a hundred more times and still feel excitement. It's true love, I believe.., CSI and I. Eventhough I don't believe in true love. Sorry Farrah, I still don't believe in its existence.

Pearl is snoring away on the couch, when I am suppose to be the original couch potato. I was on medical leave for the last 2 days. Just felt so god damn lazy to go to work when work is nothing else but adapting to new colleagues everytime. I"M TIRED OF IT!!! Hmm.. Felt good staying home. Much better here. I wasn't sick phsically, but I'm more sick emotionally. In fact I'm getting sicker by the day. That's what I told the doctor. Was very straightforward and blunt to her, saying that I need an MC even if I was in perfect health. Thank god she gave it to me.

And oh, met a friend earlier in KLCC who is now married and has a kid. He's put on some weight though, but tell me, who doesn't? Well, accept for Pearl who is anorexic, hehe.. (ok, don't get mad now, I'm just kidding..!). Right, so he looks good, the age shows but hey, aren't men suppose to be like wines? So in case you're reading this, buddy, I'm telling you that you're still fine. Trust me. And we remembered each other's birhtday too. That was totally irrevelant, but I was flattered, none the less.

Oh, the monster has awaken, gotta go I guess. Am goin' home to mommy now. Ta!

On Relationship, Marriage and Divorce

Relationship. Singles want to be in it. But when you're in, you wish you're out of it and even though you can, it's not that easy. Cause you will consider all facts and keep reconsidering everything. So unless the relationship really sucks, like maybe your partner is a psycho-killer or a wife/husbandbeater, chances are, you'll hang on to him/her. Why? Because being in a relationship is like a necessary pasttime. It is something for us to turn to during days when mommy and daddy decide to rekindle their lost love, and when friends and siblings are having the day out with their partners/husbands/wives.

Marriage. Community makes it sounds like it's life's destiny. If one doesn't get to this stage, that one person is not reaching their lifetime goal. Now, what is this? Many gets married out of stress and pressure exerted by community and family onto them. The pious ones would get married because celibacy doesn't work for them anymore. Some gets married for financial security, a few gets married because they think they love their partners and others just get married for the sake of getting married. To settle down, that's what people said. To me, just get married, people! For whatever purpose that suits you. Any reason is a good enough reason. If it doesn't work, there's always divorce, which is almost always messy. The thing is, do you wanna waste your time and money? Do you get married just to get divorced? Or do you just enjoy wasting a lifetime getting in and out of marriage? So think, rethink and then think again.

Divorce. Not a bad word at all. Not a curse. In fact it's a blessing that this word exists. It's for people who are stuck in a rut to get away from the so called lifetime destiny named marriage. But still, lots of people think of it as a jinx. Some people would cling on to their marriage like there's no tomorrow even if theirs are dysfunctional. But like I said, there's always a good reason for eveything. Your partner can be a man/womanizer, a sleazy bummer who doesn't generate a penny, or needs viagra to get it on and I bet we will all think of a hundred reasons not to let things go. They aren't ugly, they're our spouses. So, many has decided to keep their marriage even if it sucks them dry throughout their lives, thinking I'm not going to throw our lifetime of marriage away. What they don't see is that they are saying goodbye to their own life. Bad marriage is like a tumour. Get rid of it while you can. And cure it by proper means. DO NOT go to 'bomoh' in your attempt to cure. Terrified of the surgery? Then prepare to be living with the tumour which is almost certain to turn into cancer for the rest of your life. Hence, treat it and treat it fast, cause when it turns to cancer, there goes your life.

Good Sister, Precious Sister

I'm not a bully, but my sister, Pearl is sweeping the floor of my apartment. (Evil laughter!). I bet she's doing it half-heartedly cause she's nagging while doing it. (Laugh again!). And I just told her that I'm writing a post about her and she said, 'bongok!'.



My oh my.. she even sweeps my bedroom floor. What a darling... Love you Pearl! Hurrah to us cause finally we got to learn how to swim. Thanks to my Un, Alek's theory and the daily 2 hours vigorous practice with Pearl. We finally did it. Whew! Thought I was gonna be a handicap in swimming till the day I die. Guess I won't.

It's great to have you back here, my precious..

Error In Connection

Absolute ennui. I just got home from my parents'. Can't believe nobody was in. Anyways, what did I expect? Mom went to JB with my aunt, I guess. Remembered her texting me the other day. God knows when she's coming back. She didn't tell. Thought she'd be home by today already. I'm starving and not in the mood to cook.
But nevermind, since I'm almost always positive and in a constant state of relaxed alertness, (I'm not making up these descriptions, they came from my kokology test result) I'll take it as a natural way to go on diet. I've put on a couple of kilos lately and it seems like it is almost preposterous for me to shed them off easily. My five-days no carbo diet had my weight reduced by a kilo the other day, so I decided to take a day off and treat myself to a good serving of 'nasi campur'. The next thing I know, the extra masses came back! Damn! There goes all my hard work.
So Papa is not at home either just now. Saw Pearl's stuffs lying around the house. She came back last 4 days but didn't manage to see her just yet. She's in Jakarta now with Saty. Should be back by today or tomorrow. Come back you two! And hurry! I need to connect..

Air Travel-Be Mindful, Please...!!

I'm making this entry because I just need to let go. It's bloody bothersome to see how senseless and how self-centered people are when they air-travel. This is gonna be quite a lengthy entry...but I'll simplify.

Some people actually do these..

1. Carry more than one hand luggage into the cabin. They have their bagpack, their trolley bag, their handbag, their sling bag, their laptop bag plus a few more paper bags from those duty free shops. It's madness! Even if they do carry just one bag, most of the time it's gonna be fucking heavy that the overhead bin could just fall onto their heads!

2. If they travel in group, they're gonna argue over who's sitting where. It is somewhat an unyielding task to decide on who will get the aisle seat or the window seat.

3. Upon getting their meals, they'll eat like pigs,they mess the aisle, their seat and their neighbouring seat. And if the flight is a mere one and a half hour to two hours of flying, they'll nibble at their food slowly as though they're doing a six hour journey!

4. On a forty-five minutes journey, a first-timer travelling in business or first class will certainly make sure that they get to eat, even if it means to choke and gag over their food.

5. When offered fish or chicken, they'll instead ask for beef. Taking what is offered does not apply.

6. Except for passenger seats and meals, it is quite impossible to carry everything on board to cater for each and everyone. But some just do not understand. If only there are marts or 7 Elevens in mid air where aircraft can hover by for them to get their wantings.

7. Simple safety instructions like 'no smoking' and 'please switch off all your electronic devices' become the most difficult phrase to comprehend.

8. The lavatory is the most happening place on board especially during meal time. Some people just love to shove their asses into the faces of others in their attempt to squeeze pass the meal cart to get to the 'joint'. The loo is also a hot spot during take off and landing, when they are suppose to be tucked in at their seats.

9. Pressing the call button become a favorite pasttime on board. There are people who love requesting things one after another instead of asking for all they need at one go. This is what they fail to see. On average, all airline will have the ratio of one crew to forty passengers. Thus, for a flight time of 60 minutes, one can only expect to receive a mere 1.5 minutes of attention. On a journey of 2 hours (120 minutes), passengers are entitled to an average of 3 minutes each, where 2 out of the 3 minutes, shall be utilised for meal serving, leaving only another 1 minute for patrons to ask for other miscellaneous needs. One can only afford to be fussy in an acceptable manner on a flight that is more than 3 hours.

That is part of the long list I had in mind. I'm not being smug. Am just trying to get rid of things. One at a time.

P/s to Harriz : VSS, MSS or whatever it is, is not an option here dude, though I wish it is. Sigh.. Another 8 months to go. But thank you for 'feeling' me?

Get Stupid!

I must blog more. I must blog more.Had just realised how long I've not been writing, letting out my inner thoughts. Don't know why.. Can't say I'm too busy. Too tired, maybe.. Thoughtless, perhaps. The current job is draining my energy, dehydrating my brain. I'm getting stupid...! Aargh...!!!I was reading my old blogs while getting ready for work and realised that life has been pretty much static after my last blog entry. I need to do something about everything. I'm in dire need of change. I'm being in a state of comfort that is doing no good to me. I'm too comfortable that I'm starting to grow mould.Get stupid? I don't wanna...!

Lately

I just turned 28 the other day. And I was in Kuching. Had a smashing good time there with Farrah and Linda. I simply love Kuching. Love the unique cafes, pubs and bars with their lovely interiors and their perfectly serene environment. Never know the town hides such treasure. Truly relaxing. No busy roads, no stuffy, crowded places that will suffocate you while you try your best to have fun. Plus, it was simply lovely to chill with old friends, reminiscing the good old days. Nothing beats that.
Got home yesterday. Bought 2 boxes of 'Kek Lapis' from Medan. They were damn cheap and for RM 15 per box of 1 kg, they taste lovely! And entrepreneurs sell them at RM 60 per box in KL. Now ain't that crazy...?

Job brought me to Beijing the other day too. It was shopping paradise..., well maybe not for those rich people with lots of dough out there who crave for genuine designer goods, but for a cheapskate like me, shopping in Beijing ain't bad at all. Their imitation goods drove me up the wall! Food wasn't that mouth-watering though, or maybe I didn't go to the right place. Tasted their grilled sweet potatoes by the roadside. It suits my tastebuds. I'll definitely take more cash along with me the next time job brings me there.

The 28th Year

'Lonely No More'. My 28th year motto. Haha..! Life is going to be more meaningful from this year onwards, I hope. Since my last blog titled 'There's No One Else in the Room', surprisingly, things has turned out very nicely and everything seems to fall into places. Now I believe that I should just hang on when the going gets a little tough. There's always some great surprises in store for the near future. I've certainly learnt that there's always a purpose to every event in life. They will, almost always, teach you how to laugh more and not to cry too hard.
I have learned the beauty of my new job. Well, it might not bring me very far in the brain department, but it sure brings me places and meet new people. And people, is the best field of study sometimes. I'm starting to enjoy the job slowly, very slowly indeed.. At times the job will still give me nausea, not from flying but from some moronic behaviour of human beings. But hey, I am happy to say that I am now able to cope with such antics. After all, this job did get me acquainted with some wonderful people too. The special people who made my day. The job too, made me value my old friends even more, treasure my family greater than ever and learn to love better. I have to admit that no matter how thin I try to slice things, there will always be two sides of everything. So, rather than seeing the glass as half empty, it will only be wiser to see it as half full. And thus I've come to a conclusion, the job ain't that bad.
This 28th year, I will make it the best year. I will learn more, be more productive (no more laziness...! ..hopefully..), be more forgiving, see things in a different light, think positive, get in shape (must go to gym and workout), save as much money as possible and the most important of all, I will be happy.
P/s : Alek, I am not the anti-management, anti-social rebel anymore ok? In fact, I never was..

No One Else In The Room

.."Lonely..., i am so lonely..., i have nobody..., to call my own.."..
I was that close to breaking down the other day. It felt dreadful when you suddenly sense how lonely you actually are in the head, mind and heart. Last few weeks wasn't so pretty for me. Everything was dark and gloomy. Pearl has left for Colorado and it was really quite heart-wrenching. Never realised that she would actually have that effect on me. She's been coming and going annually for the last 3 years. But this time it was different. Perhaps i found comfort and true connection with this little sister of mine. She understands me so well, i guess, and the bonus point is, she doesn't criticise. I don't think i need any kind of criticism at this point of time.
So Pearl left me teary-eyed to continue this 'lonely' journey on my own.
I remembered a friend telling me a few months back, "Ty, you've just been single for say, 5 - 6 months? I'm telling you, this is just the beginning. If you are enjoying it right now, believe me, things will get better!".
Umm..., recalling that conversation, i was actually very enthusiastic about being single during those early months. I couldn't wait to meet new people, to open up my eyes to a whole new world which seems to me at that time was unfolding so colourfully in front of my eyes. But now i am not so sure..has the unfolding process come to a halt so abruptly? or maybe i am just so tired to appreciate the unfolding process which is forever unfolding, and that I actually want it to stop and let me catch my breath?
Another friend commented when I said "I'm lonely". Now he said, "Hey, and i thought you have so many options to choose from, woman!". Well.., i guess things aren't that easy. I am not even sure of what i want right now. Not even sure why i'm feeling this emptiness even at times when i'm suppose to be busy. I see friends every time i have the chance, i didn't shut myself off from the community. I think i've done good to myself so far, but why? What exactly do i need? Someone? Something? Hmm.., i think i should sit down and really think about what i want, hopefully, this will get rid of the emptiness and make way for me to achieve the ultimate soul fulfillment.
P/s : - Farrah, i think everyone needs an "Andy's Watch" in life to keep them on track. I thought I've found "Andy's Watch", but I actually haven't. Have you?
P/s : - Alek, i totally understand now why you said my "Andy's Watch" was a ridicule. It was totally unrealistic and quite unachieveable. It was taboo! Haha... I'll think of something else to become my "Andy's Watch".

I Love U, I Lust U?

Can anyone love a person and lust for another? You do not lust for the one you love and you totally do not love the one you lust for. I think it is definitely possible. Hmmm...
Anyways, today was a great day. Work was very satisfying and unstressful (for once!). And i ate lotsa cake. Bet they're gonna go down to my arse pronto!

So Many Things To Do, So Little Time

It is not a good sign if you begin your day with a sigh. But hell, i can't help it sometimes, especially at this moment in time where things are a little haywire, i would say. I have a new job..., (which is not much of a job) to adapt myself to, i have my plans to further my studies (wanna do MBA), to take up lessons for a 3rd language (which i still haven't checked on how, when, where and how much) and to have my own place (which is kinda urgent, because i seriously need to stop being a mommy's girl). Apart from all these, i can't be putting aside the all too natural side of me who is kinda lazy and quite laidback at times. I have wonderful friends (whom i love to chill with for many, many hours perhaps even, for many, many days), i have my family (parents and sisters to juggle my time with) and my passion for books to fill up my anti-social days. I'll consider myself lucky at the moment, for not being in a relationship or should i say marriage? Am i lucky or am i not? I am definitely enjoying myself at the moment, have never known that it is so blissful to be single. Well..., no doubt things can get kinda lonely sometimes, but hey! there are so many things out there for me to indulge myself into. For the time being, I'm just going to sit back, relax and enjoy. Let's see how long i am able to be in this state...Comments, anyone?