My person now have a doppelganger. Someone who pretends to be her online when it is actually not her. It's silly and funny. And also scary.
When it comes to matter of the heart, some people just can't let go. Some people find it difficult to move on. And there are few who wants to move on but can't move on.
In order to be able to move on, one must learn to accept. And one must also learn to forget.
The question is, how do we forget? If we could learn, why can't we unlearn? There is no guided way to erase memories nor is there an instruction manual to delete sorrowful feelings. The only best way is perhaps, to fill up our time and make ourselves busy, so that our thoughts won't run wild and flock back on the sad, sad history.
I've seen friends during trying times. I myself have had my own share of taxing moments too. And because of that, I have somehow developed my own procedure to aid me when love is lost, when passion turns to abomination and when devotion had been betrayed.
Here's how I deal with it...
1. Cry like hell. Cry like there is no tomorrow. Cry for seven days and seven nights until you could cry no more.
Once you are done crying, (believe me, there will be a point when you can't cry anymore, when you will finally get tired of crying...providing you really did step #1 well), this is the time to get up and get on with life. This is when you start doing these...
2. Pay more attention to yourself. Groom yourself more, and groom better than you have ever done before. Not for the fact that you are re-entering the dating market or to gain back the attention and affection of the lost party, but for the fact that you love yourself. And after all that has happened, you deserve to be loved and the only person who can love you best is you.
So go ahead and wear those nice clothes you have bought but never worn before just because the other party thinks you look fat in it. Put on that make-up and look awesome instead of adopting that au naturel look. Remember that you are not Kate Beckinsale or Jessica Biel. But don't overdo it either. Learn from Salma Hayek. She said, "It actually takes me a lot of make-up in order to make me look like someone who doesn't wear make up."
3. Keep busy. If you are not working, get a job. Any job. As long as you have something else to focus on instead of your sorrows. Go out with friends. No friends? Then it is time to find some. Get back in touch with long lost mates and buddies. Too ashamed to meet them? Well, don't be. Misfortunes happen to everyone. And you should talk about it with pride and stop being pitiful about yourself. The pitiful part is over after you decided to stop crying.
4. Start going out with the opposite sex. And don't get me wrong. This doesn't mean that you should be romantically or intimately involve immediately. So relax, chill and do go out for movies, for lunch/dinner dates. Do not rush into another relationship. And do not be too stubborn and picky over the smallest thing at this stage too either. Just go out with anyone. He/She may not be the perfect one, but that's the point. You simply have to put up with one or two caterpillars before you can finally see the butterfly, right?
5. Get a hobby. Don't sit around and do nothing. Build your life. Make yourself interesting.
6. Cut ties with the party who broke your heart if it's too hard for you to handle. Throw away everything that reminds you of him/her. If you are too sentimental to throw them away, stash them up in a place where you can't see them. Stop trying to find out what's going on with the other person's life. Be realistic. Do not add salt to your wound. Also, maybe, you should stop seeing his/her friends because you will likely start talking and start asking about him/her. Which you shouldn't. You want to forget, remember? But if you are sturdy enough to NOT ask or talk about the person, then hanging out with his/her friends will still be alright. Providing they (the friends) do not bring up that topic either.
7. Never give a shit about what other people say or think about you. You are the one going through hell, and not them. Ignore critics and words that will make you feel less as a person. Only take in the good things and rational opinions.
Points simplified; be strong, be interesting and keep on charging forward with optimism. Don't let the past haunts your future. Stop nagging, stop sighing. There is more to life than just grieving.
Time to shower. And wear the feather boa.
