5-Day Furlough

Sunblock - checked.

Bikini - checked.

Books - checked.

Air tickets - checked... (thank god the girls saved me from traveling on the boat... else I would be puking my intestines out like a drunkard!)

I'll be leaving home at 3. I am finally done with packing and re-packing. The only cabin-sized bag which I planned to take earlier need to be left at home. I switched to a bigger bag which will require me to check it in later. I was laughing at Mareena just a couple of days ago when she said she had so many stuffs to bring for the trip. And here I am, being teased by Un when he saw me unpacking my stuffs from the small bag to his check-in bag. Urrgh...!

I need this - to be away from everything. I, ummm... need to have some people to miss me...Hahahaha! As if anyone would. I need to have fun and relax with the girls. Just the girls, straight-shooting.

Home will see me again next Tuesday. While school will be seeing me next Wednesday. And oh, just in case you are wondering where I am heading to, it's just Langkawi. No big deal, yeah.. But shamefully, I've never been there. So I am now one excited damsel... (wriggle!).

Ok, time to have some itty-bitty lunch. Don't miss me too much, now peeps! ;)

To Make A Long Story Short

Hello again. 3M case will be due in an hour and I am still not done reading it. But I always have time for this. :) Procrastination remains my best friend.

The issue at this hour is... Does being physically beautiful matters so much? Is it important for a woman to be exceptionally beautiful in order to have a man love her unconditionally? Does being pretty beats having a good heart, or being intelligent or being interesting?

And what defines beauty, anyways? Having a perfect model figure? Big eyes and sharp nose? A pair of sexy lips? Huge knockers? Perky asses? Silky smooth skin? Are those alone enough for men to be satisfied with their women?

Beauty, without doubt, is in the eyes of the beholder. I for one, celebrate differences and appreciate flaws. To me, beauty isn't necessarily perfect. For when it is perfect, it will no longer be beautiful.

Once Upon A Ty

I am home on a Saturday night. Right. And it is not because I don’t have a life, but I think it is more precise for me to say that I am too alive.

Tonight, I have decided to blog about something different for a change. Tonight, I am going to bitch about myself. So let’s start right away…

I always think that I am not intelligent enough, not pretty enough and not thin enough… What a negative start, I know, but hey, those feelings never really bug me to the point of tearing my self-esteem apart. I am pretty much confident, and I am okay with being averagely smart, not too pretty and a tad bit fleshy if compared to my sisters.

I don’t like rollercoaster. I love theme parks but I hate rollercoaster. One would have to drag and force me to ride on any. Those few times that I have been on rollercoaster rides were the moments I dread the most and of which I remember until this day. I remember the shortness of breath, the deathly grip of my fists against the iron bar or shoulder harness and the twisty feeling in my intestines as though I was getting down with a major diarrhea. Call me chicken, but I am happily married to Ferris wheel and carousel. Rollercoaster is just too suicidal for me.

My dream guy has always been someone taller and charming. He who speaks with great confidence, he who looks at me with meaningful eyes, he who is smart enough to outwit my average brain and he who whispers the sweetest words to me when I am going to sleep. But sigh…! You can't always have everything your way…I understood that a long time ago.

I don’t like men who are too clingy and needy. And believe it or not, there are many like that out there. I give freedom, and I expect freedom.

When I was in high school, I was dubbed as the klutz. But of course, I was a cool, rebellious klutz. In fact, till this day, I can still be a klutz. I was known for doing silly things and having daftly rumpus occurring upon me every now and then. Ask my friends, they know. I am a certified airhead, no doubt.

There are many other things I am afraid of. To name a few…lizards, getting old and losing the people I love.

I won’t step out of the house with wet hair because I think it is kind of nasty to be walking around in public with wet, clumpy hair. No girls, wet hair isn’t sexy when you do it on purpose, out of your own shower.

I enjoy talking and having good laughs. I try my best not to judge people by how they look and/or by what they do or by what they don’t do. And I expect others to do the same to me too.

I am not gentle. Neither am I tender in the way I act. But I am gentle enough to have a few crying spells a year, soft enough to be touch on the exterior (banyak lemak..hahaha...!) and tender enough to care if not much, a little bit, about others.

One thing I am in for sure is that I am an exciting person. Really. Like really seriously. That’s why I am home on a Saturday night. Ain't that convincing alright? (Wink!)

Reviewing Hancock

Here I am procrastinating again when I should be preparing for hectic Tuesday. But I am having this urge to blog again because I am home alone waiting for my prune-juice attack*. Un has left with a friend for Hellboy, which I do not want to watch because the hero is less appealing.

I am now here because of Hancock. I think it was a terrific movie because other than having the ever sexy Will Smith starring in it (he really is something), it wasn't like any other typical superhero-in-a-fancy-suit movie. And there was a deeper meaning to it.

The few things I learnt from Hancock...:

- That sometimes you can be so in love with someone but you can't be with each other for some weird reason... like for example you become this amnesic bitch when you are with the one you love but a whiz bitch when you're away from him.

- That in life, you can't have everything your way. When you get some, you will lose some. Like for an instance, if I want an A for a particular subject in school without studying for the exam, I'm gonna have to sacrifice my oral appendage to lick a lot of asses and kiss tens of butt cheeks (which I definitely won't do, so to hell with the grades!).

- That love is substitutable. If you can't be with John in order to love him, you can always love and live your life through Ray. Damn. Is it really that easy? Will Smith is not an easy task to forget.

- That kissing someone's wife in the kitchen while the husband was all tucked in bed upstairs(though the whole idea is somewhat exhilarating), could lead to a series of seriously unwanted circumstances.

- That there is no way you can really know anyone even if you have stayed with one for many years under the same roof. For all you know, your mom could be a superhero too!

- That not telling does not mean that you are lying (I might need to crap about this issue very soon).

- That having a taboo relationship is such a turn-on! Why oh why?

- That Will Smith really has good physique (I would love to be the injured lady cop, clinging onto his sturdy, thick shoulders helplessly).

- That Charlize Theron is hot.

So all in all the movie was cool, just the kind of movie I like. Very humanly with a twist of fantasy and sci-fi just enough to not turn it into another ordinary superhero flick. My blue-ribbon for Hancock!

* prune-juice attack : try drinking half a bottle of prune juice within one hour an you'll know what I mean..

WTF?

Can anyone tell me... 

What is the point of being educated when you don't even know how to use the toilet like a person who has seen civilization?

What is the point of scoring a perfect 4.0 on your CGPA when you communicate with another human being worse than a retard?

What is the point of getting straight As for every single subject known to man when you can't even treat another human with respect?

What is the point of getting your post-graduate degree when you can't even get your thought across correctly in neither your own language nor English?

What is the point of getting a degree at all when you can't bring yourself to talk to people of all level, of all races, of all nations and of all religions without judging them or without hating them?

What is the point of wanting to become a lecturer after you've completed all your degrees and super-degrees when you don't even know how to write or speak properly?

What is the point of writing tons and tons of research papers when all you actually did was copy and paste from someone else's writings?

What is the point of becoming a lecturer when you've never had any real life experiences on how the real world works?

What is the point of studying abroad or in an international environment when you can't even see the beauty of mixing around with people of all kinds?

What is the point of even studying and gaining knowledge when your knowledge of handling humans are plain sleazy?

What is the point of being so called 'intelligent' when you are actually a moron in disguise?

It is formidable to be in the know that such characters do exist. Even more appalling for me to think that we are actually sending our children away to schools and colleges and universities to be taught by these kind of people. People who demand for others to greet and respect them first. Worst still they claim themselves to be the friendly ones, the ones who provide good hospitality, who receive saintly teachings from the best religion in the whole wide world. When all they actually are, are just a bunch of horrid, educated beasts, too engrossed with themselves, thinking that they are above everyone else. Just who the hell do they think they are?

Sigh...

Honesty the Best Policy?

I think I have been infested by trypanosomas. And I am having trypanosomiasis. The weird thing is that I have never been to Africa. Yes, I am having some sort of African sleeping sickness; or more like the Malaysian sleeping sickness in this case.

I was taking a look into my Financial Management subject not a few hours ago, trying to load some financial jargons into my poor scientific brain. I did not get further than the second paragraph of the first chapter when the words start to wobble and fade. Soon enough, I nodded away on the sofa with the book still on my lap. Maybe it was me or maybe it was just the subject that is causing me this sickness. I fell asleep in the class yesterday during lecture and woke up in panic when the lecturer threw me a question which I blindly answered, almost half-whispering, while trying my best not to look like I have slept off the entire period.

Anyway, that's not the point. I now have the intention of studying Business Ethics and Law but before I start boring myself with the book, I decided to take a detour into blogging. So, let's talk about honesty.

Would you tell someone the truth if you know that the truth will hurt that someone? We have been taught since young that honesty is never the bad policy, but is this true, really? I came across a quote by Carrie Bradshaw of Sex and the City (played by Sarah Jessica Parker) not too long ago. It says...

"I started thinking about honesty. Maybe the idea was overrated. Maybe coming clean is the ultimate selfish act, a way to absolve yourself by hurting someone who doesn’t deserve to be hurt. I cheated on a test in the fifth grade with two friends. They confessed and failed the class. I never told anyone, and it never mattered."

And upon digesting those words, I realized that there are so much truth in it. That honesty, isn't necessarily the best policy. Especially not when you know that what you are about to tell will hurt the other party like hell or will bother them so much that they couldn't think of anything else for the next one month except that hurtful truth you chose to let her/him know.

Take for instance, a girl asking her boyfriend if she looks fat in a particular dress. Now, to say that she actually looks fat in everything and nothing would be harsh even though that is actually the truth. But telling her so would probably make her go hysterical and that is definitely not an outcome any men would ever want. So he would politely say no and save the girl from being hurt and him from being the victim of something he shouldn't have said. He was being ethical and unselfish.

Let's take in another scenario when a relationship has turned so routine that one decided to jump it. Now, he knows that that would hurt the partner extremely bad, but for him to live on with lies are just something he won't want to do for the rest of his life. Plus, of course, the fact that he already has someone else tickling his fancies on the side provides another strong reason why he doesn't want to be in such monotonous relationship any longer. So, being the selfish bastard, he told the truth to his partner...

'Baby, I don't think we can go on like this any further. I don't think we have it anymore. I don't love you as much and even if we try, I doubt it will get any better. Look, I know the truth hurts, but I am just being honest. I don't want to fool you into believing that I love you when I am actually in love with someone else.'

Now, please tell me, which part of the above speech depicts a good policy? He was obviously being selfish and just by telling the truth does not give him any plus point. He shouldn't hide behind the honesty policy, pretending like he's not purposely being a bastard. He might as well says...

'Hey, I am one sick bastard who gets tired of the same old pussy.(Excuse my language, but I am trying to make a point) Therefore, I'm leaving for a fresh one, 'nuff said.'

The way I see it, at times, there may be no good in always telling the truth, let alone to describe that honesty is always the best policy because it may not always be. One should always consider if the positive outcome of being honest outweighs the negative. And if the negative outweighs the positive, and if one can still pull the non-selfish act, it will be wiser to just shut up. Because what they don't know can never hurt them.

So okay. I am going back to books. Umm... or maybe not. The sleeping sickness is kicking in again. I think I'll pass the books and go to sleep. (Grin!)

Brain Concussion

I just wanna say that I have had one hell of a hectic week. Both with school and business. I won't elaborate in detail here because I am still feeling tense about the whole flow of situation.

And last night. Last night was one rough night. That is all I can say. I am spent. Have not slept for more than 24 hours. It's a curse that I am such an amnesic bitch last night and ended up giving everyone a hard time. (Guilty sigh...but still laughing at own stupidity. IQ of 135 indeed!) Agave tequilana was responsible for last night's harebrained incident. ;) Also, I am blaming part of my insanely quest last night on someone with an IQ of 138. Fancy making me walk and leave my car a block away!

I'm no longer feeling the concussion in the brain. Either it had totally subsided or my head just got used to it. Am also feeling overly sleepy right now, I think I could sleep while I walk. Think I'll sleep on the sofa again tonight while watching House over and over again. Ah..., that will be bliss!

P/s: There's a dead baby lizard near my TV cabinet and I cant bring myself to throw it away.

Pour Femme!

I have been tagged by Chics many, many days ago. And I have been wanting to respond to the tag akan tetapi time-time tu la aku terlebih-lebih rajin untuk menulis bermacam-macam crap yang lain. Nevermind, I'm doing this now. This won't be much of a read but what the hell, I'm going to amuse myself with it.

My Foundation:

SK-II Sign Transform Foundation - The first time I bought it, aku terase macam tak best. I was thinking, apsal la aku beli brand ni when everyone else is crazy about Bobbi Brown or M.A.C. But after using it for the first time, I saw a different glow on my skin (terase diri macam extra lawa macam tu...hahaha!) and I know then that I don't want to use anything else other than this. 

My Mascara:

Make Up For Ever Lengthening Mascara - Lengthening mascara la sebab bulu mata super pendek. The applicator isn't too big for my sepet eyes so it's good. Make Up Forever sebab murah.

My Day Cream:

SK-II Facial Lift Emulsion - No specific reason for this. I just know I need a day cream and I pick this sebab ade perkataan 'facial lift'. A 30 year-old would at least need that. And this one does the trick well enough.

My Essential Beauty Product:

For hair 

+Redken Extreme Shampoo and Conditioner

+Redken CAT Protein Reconstruction Treatment

Tapi rambut tak lawa-lawa jugak. Ahh....!!!

For Face

+SK-II Facial Treatment Cleanser

+SK-II Facial Treatment Essence - the miracle water

+SK-II Advance Sign Treatment - for nights

For body

+Mandi lah pakai sabun. Hehe..! But for me body soap equals to shower cream/gel and bar soap adelah untuk cuci bontot after your number 2.

My Favorite Makeup Product:

Eyebrow pencil, eye-highlighter, mascara and lip gloss are the necessaries. I like gloss from Make Up For Ever because it smells nice dan tak bacin like some. Stuffs from Benefit are awesome too. And I am not compatible with anything Christian Dior. I'll get break-outs the next day.

My Perfume:

+Chanel Mademoiselle

+Bvlgari Blv

I wish I can find something else other than these two. But many years have gone while I search for interesting new perfumes. Occasionally, I would try something different but most of them turn into one-month-stand perfume. None match the above and I kept reeling back to them.

My Nails:

I love French manicure tapi takkan la 24-7 nak ber-French manicure kan. So once in a blue moon I would go for salon manicure. But normally I'll trim and buff my nails at home, by myself. My nails can never be truly short because they look real ugly that way.

My Feet:

Similar to fingernails. I use Dr Scholl's Pumice Foot Scrub when necessary.

My Hands:

Any lotion I can find. Ape-apelah janji lotion boleh sapu, jalan!

Three Beauty Products to bring on a deserted island:

Being deserted on an island means the situation is definitely uncalled for. So there's no way I'll have any beauty products with me. If I'm lucky, there'll be somewhere in my bag a lip gloss and/or compact powder (these would happen if I was going out for a hot date, heheh..!). But I can guarantee that I'll have a few sticks of cigarettes and some old receipts to assist combustion for cold island nights if need be.

Women I admire for their beauty:

I don't like the typical cute look in women. I think 'cute' is for girls and not women. Voting against cute, my list of admirable women sees...

+Claire Forlani (sexy full lips)

+Ali Larter (naturally sexy pout)

+Kate Beckinsale (mysterious beauty)

+Giselle Bundchen (just wow!)

Women with the Best Sense of Style:

+Angelina Jolie (always got it right in a sensible, no ridicule manner)

My Ultimate Beauty Dream:

+To have slender thighs. My thighs are chunky, yo! And also I would love to be 5 inch taller.

How Do I Define Womanhood:

+Womanhood is when a girl grow out of being tergedik-gedik tak tentu pasal.

My Favorite Fashion Publication:

+Nothing in particular. I easily fall for publications with good cover shots. 

I am tagging:-

# Tyiara

# Satyiana

# Ruzanna (Roza)

# Mareena

# Sarah

# Farisha

# Liz